Succumb to the Pain
by yoririshgirl
Summary: BOOM! Another clap of thunder shook the window panes and blinding lightening turned the deep night into day. THREE YEARS. Three years to the day since Edward left me. My body felt numb.......Kind of an alternate New Moon... Rated M for future...
1. And so it begins, or ends

**I do not own anything Twilight...gosh, don't I wish!!**

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BPOV

BOOM! Another clap of thunder shook the window panes and blinding lightening turned the deep night into day. _THREE YEARS. Three years to the day since Edward left me_. My body felt numb. My brain felt like sludge, simply unable to process the vast amount of pain that attacked my weary system. The window was open and the rain was splashing in, onto me and the floor, but I didn't move to shut it. What did I care about some rain? I kept the window open almost constantly, denying myself it was for hope of his return, but deep down, I knew that was truly why. I shivered from the soaking cold, that went straight through to my bones. I knew a shower would help me, warm me, but I couldn't seem to get my legs to work. So I didn't bother.

I sat in the corner of the room on the floor, ignoring the furniture around me. _How could he have just left like that? He didn't even say goodbye._ Another tear escaped and slid down my stained cheeks. My eyes felt raw, swollen and like they were full of sand. How many tears had I cried the past three years for Edward? A thousand? A million? That was too much to think about. The past three years of my life had been nothing but pain, tears and burnt bridges. Edward leaving took a toll on more than just myself.

It took about a year for Jake to finally give up and leave me to the darkness. Try as he might, he couldn't heal the gaping, ragged hole in my chest. For a time, I thought he might. I even gave myself to him, completely thinking it would change my heart and help me love him. It didn't. The hole got bigger. All I could think was it wasn't Edward lying naked with me, it wasn't Edward making love to me for the first time. It wasn't Edward. That ended it for Jake. He realized he couldn't bring me to the light, and the bitterness against Edward for destroying who I was, destroyed our friendship.

_Why, why did he leave?_

Then there was Charlie. After two years of watching me only go through the motions but being empty inside, Charlie couldn't handle it anymore. He told me, absolutely I had to leave. He had threatened that so many times, I didn't believe him at first. That is until Renee showed up on the doorstep one day with a ticket to Jacksonville. As I was 20, I promptly packed my bags and moved out. Angela was gracious enough to let me stay with her until I was able to get a place of my own. My job at the outdoor supplies shop wasn't enough income, so I had to start working at the local grocery store too. The job sucked, but I had rent to pay. I couldn't afford much in the way of furniture, but that didn't matter to me now, as I couldn't be bothered to move from my spot on the floor.

In my hands I looked at the porcelain jewelry box that Edward gave me for my 18th birthday. Despite my insistence that he not buy me anything, he had surprised me late that night when it was just the two of us laying in my bed. On the top, a beautiful hand painted picture of a scene from Romeo and Juliet. I turned it over in my hands, remembering that night, the last night I had seen Edward, knowing it was going to cause me greater pain.

_"I have something for you," Edward said breathlessly. He had just pulled me off of him as I was mercilessly attacking his lips, praying he'd finally let his impeccable control slip, just a little. I suddenly realized why he'd allowed my assault to go on for so long, he was hoping it would dissuade me from rebuking his gift. I thought he may be right, as my head was still buzzing and fuzzy and I wasn't thinking straight._

_"I want you to try to accept this with an open mind and an open heart. I saw it and simply couldn't resist it for you." _

_And with that, Edward pulled out a small, simply wrapped gift. I tried to steady my breath long enough to tell him how much he shouldn't have spent money on me, but as I stared at the gift again, he bent down and brushed his lips against the curve of my neck. My breath hitched and my heart skipped a beat. I felt him smile against my skin._

_"Breathe Bella, and open your gift." he whispered softly, his cool breath sending chills all over my body._

_My hands shook as I pulled at the beautiful silver paper. Once it was carefully ripped away, I had a green box in my hand. I closed my eyes as he grazed my neck again with his lips._

_"Try to concentrate Bella, you are almost there." Edward chuckled_

_"I'd be able to do this a lot better if you would stop distracting me!" I said with a pout._

_"But you'd also be yelling at me. I'd rather keep you distracted." I could feel him smiling again._

_I slowly opened the box and extracted a beautiful heart shaped porcelain jewelry box. I looked at the top and recognized Romeo wooing Juliet on her balcony against a starry sky. It was beautiful._

_"Edward, I love it. Its so beautiful."_

_"No my Bella, you are so beautiful..." he whispered, as his golden eyes smoldered. I melted into his embrace, where I happily had spent the remainder of the night._

Another painful tear slipped down my cheek. I wrapped one arm around my torso, trying in desperation to close that awful hole that now burned hotter than before with the memories of our last night. The next day, Edward didn't come to my house that morning before my work shift, as was his custom on Saturday's. Edward's cell was no longer in service. I felt a little panic. Could vampires forget to pay their phone bills? After work, I drove straight to his home, to ask him why he'd not come by, why his phone wasn't working. The big white house, the house the was the home to the most important people in my life, Edward and his family...was empty.

My vision was blurry now. _Edward, where are you. Edward. Edward. Why didn't you love me?_ I contemplated all the time he'd said he loved me. _Lies._ I thought about all of the passionate kisses. _Lies._ I mourned all of my hopes and dreams. All of it, ALL of it was a lie. The pain and the rage burned, tearing at the edges of the hole in my chest. I felt like I was going to split in two. I heard a heartbreaking, mournful sobbing, and realized it was me. _How could you have done that to me? How can I live without you? How can I live?_

A sudden burst a rage made me throw the jewelry box across the room with all of the energy left in my body, and with that sudden exertion, I crumpled into a sobbing heap on the floor. The rain continued to pour in on me. As I laid there, listening to my ragged breathing, the relentless thunder and watching my eye lids light up from the lightening, I suddenly wished it would rain enough for me to drown. Or wait, maybe I would be hit by lightening. Sure it would hurt, but I would only last a moment, and then this awful life I was left with would be over. I realized, I wanted to die. The thought scared the shit out of me, but oddly thrilled me as well. _It would be over. The pain, the aching loneliness, the desperate longing for Edward. I would be free._ I sat up suddenly, the energy returning to my body.

The porcelain glass lay scattered across the floor. It sprayed out when it had shattered against the wall. I crawled over to it, and grabbed the first piece I saw. It wasn't sharp, I dropped it and looked for another. I wasn't even thinking now as my fingers searched desperately for the instrament that would finally give me relief. I didn't think of Jake, I didn't think of Charlie. I merely thought of an end, and end to the unbearable pain. FINALLY, my fingers found purchase. I nice big piece, sharp too. I sat for a moment. _Wait...wait._ Another moment past. _ I am done waiting, he's not coming back. _

I pressed the cool sharp glass to my wrist, bit my lip and pushed. A sharp pain traveled up my arm, but nothing, nothing compared to the hole in my chest. I pushed it deep and watched the crimson blood spring forth. I breathed through my mouth (no need to throw up as well). I switched hands, and repeated the process. Digging the glass deep into my flesh and dragging it across. I waited, and waited. The blood was flowing, but not fast enough. This was taking too long. I know that Alice had probably seen this, and would likely be here soon.

I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. I took a breath, " I am sorry Alice." I brought the knife to my throat, and dragged it quickly across.

I could feel the hot, sticky lifes blood, my blood quickly flowing out of me. My knees already felt weak, and I sat against the counter. This was better. This was quicker. I would be over soon. My eyes closed with the thought the end of the pain was near. I was weary. So tired and ready for endless sleep.

"BELLA! What have you done!"

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**This is my first fan fic. Please review. **


	2. Will I be in time?

**I do not own anything Twilight...gosh, don't I wish!!**

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EPOV

_Bella, my sweet angel..._

All I can see is her face. Her big impossibly deep brown eyes filled with love and devotion. Sure that I will be there for her always. Sure that I will protect her from the world. Sure that I will never leave her._ I am a monster._ It was wrong of me to ever love her, to steal her from her human life. Allowing her to love me back was my crime against her. She would never look at a human boy the way she looked at me. I had a hold on her that was more powerful than love. It was wrong, I knew that but I couldn't stop myself. As hard as I had tried to stay away, she called to me, even before she spoke a single word in my presence. Her blood, her body, her soul, her silence. I was intoxicated by her very essence and the mystery of her mind. She was like a drug that was specifically designed for me and only me, and I was going through withdrawal of the worst kind. Through all my long years, I had never experienced anything like the pain of her absence. It was worse than the pain I had experienced being born into this life, which was something I never thought possible. The three days of fire I would take gladly over the torture of being parted from my Bella. _My Bella, not mine anymore..._The fire that burned me now was much deeper than just my body. My silent heart, silent for so long, ached and had made it's unique pain known to me since I left her three years ago. Three years ago today, to be exact. There was an bone wrenching ache deep down in my core, dare I say, in my very soul that I couldn't describe in words. I was overwhelmed and for years now, I had succumbed to the pain of leaving her. Unable, and unwilling to move beyond it.

I sat in my small, filthy room, no furniture to speak of, the same clothes for the last several months. I hadn't showered (not that I technically need one) in over a year. Why, why bother. I was only here for a limited amount of time anyway. The moment her heart stopped beating, I would find away to end my existence as well. How I wish I could speed up time for me. Though I sat unnaturally still since I lacked the will to move, my mind worked feverishly remembering all the things about Bella that I loved. I tried to remember her smell. _Oh, her smell, that elixir of life and the downfall of our love._ I took a breath, in vain, and smelled only the wet moldy surroundings and the decay of the animal carcasses nearby . I exhaled and didn't bother with another breath. And her eyes, how many times did I lose myself in the depths of her eyes. Brown eyes so often are flat and lifeless but Bella's, oh how they seemed to almost dance with light. Even more so in my presence. I felt a stabbing pang of longing.

But at least she was alive. I knew that she wasn't happy, Alice couldn't hide that from me, which is why I had to leave my family. The visions of Bella unhappy, depressed and alienated from her friends and family pushed me to the brink of my own sanity. But she was alive and that is all that mattered. She was alive, which is more than I could really say for myself. I am sure that if a human were unfortunate enough to come across me in this remote section of Brazilian rainforest, they would guess I was a corpse, but would likely not live long after discovering me. I sat motionless. My eyes black with the deep purple bruising that indicated how long it had been since I'd last fed. My clothes were filthy, tattered and covered in old dried jaguar blood. I had become a messy eater the last three years, eating out of necessity for the safety of the humans and nothing more than that. There was no joy, no joy without Bella by my side. I was empty.

I sighed and slowly got to my feet. I needed to feed, or there was a real possibility of someone getting hurt. I moved out of my makeshift hut to find something to eat. I took a deep breath and detected a jaguar just north of where I was presently located. I took off, not even bothering to be stealthy. I mindlessly moved towards my pray, it heard me and started to flee, but I was of course faster. I came up upon the jaguar, catching it was beyond easy, despite its attempt to fight me off. In the span of a single heart beat from the big cat, I snapped its neck and started to drink. I didn't even taste the hot sticky liquid as it slipped down my throat. My thoughts floated back to Bella. _My sweet Bella...I thought I could save you from myself, but what have I condemned you to instead?_ I recalled the reason for all the pain we were both facing now.

_I jumped down from Bella's window. Her breathing still even and steady. As I got ready to run home and change before returning here, I heard her breathily whisper my name._

_"Mm Edward.."_

_I couldn't help the smile from creeping across my lips. Again I wished for the ability to read her thoughts and be able to actually see her dreams. I understood why Bella enjoyed the fact I couldn't get into her head the way I could with all other humans, her being my only exception. I ran home with reckless abandon, thrilled that I was successfully was able to give Bella her gift without too severe a reaction from her. The way she viewed me was quite ridiculous at times. So afraid that she wasn't good enough for me when really it was certainly the other way around! The jewelry box had been perfect! The scene from Romeo and Juliet, when Romeo reveals himself to his love whilst she dreams about him on her balcony was artfully painted on the top of the beautiful heart shaped porcelain. The moment I had seen it, I knew it was Bella's. I was so nervous to give it to her, but through what she often called dazzling her, she accepted it without complaint. This gave me hope that slowly I would be able to fill the jewelry box with little bobbles here and there for her to wear. Sapphires would be amazing with her skin!_

_I reached the clearing that our family home was located in. I could detect Emmet and Rose in the garage, discussing Rosie tuning Emmett's truck to give him better performance off-road. Alice and Jasper were playfully wrestling in the front yard. She was picturing his moves moments before he made them, and therefore almost imperceptibly moving just as Jasper attacked. Her laughter was light and tinkling. It was amazing to me how much I enjoyed my family now that my heart had itself been touched with the gift of love everlasting. _

_It was in that moment, that perfect happy moment, my world crashed down around me...._

_"Alice!" I screamed._

_She had frozen, perfectly still, forgetting to move from Jasper's attack and as a result was tackled and knocked to the ground. Jasper at once knew something was seriously wrong. _

_"Alice! What's wrong, what are you seeing." Jasper's concern, evident in his voice._

_Alice's eyes had shifted out of focus, seeing nothing of her present surroundings. I fell to my knees. "What does this mean Alice. Why am I seeing that."_

_"I don't know Edward, I can't see the catalyst that brings this about, but the outcome is VERY clear. You are going to kill Bella!"_

_The vision of Bella's drained and lifeless body in my arms while my face is raised to the sky and with my blood red eyes I am crying out in sheer agony to the heavens at what I had done, was very clear in my mind. Her beauty, not touched in death, was heart wrenching to behold in her lifeless form._

_"No, no, no NO! This can't be. I would never...NEVER hurt her! Alice, look again, WHY does this happen?"_

_"Edward, I swear to you, I am blind as to the reason why, but I know this for a fact. If you stay here, you will kill Bella before the day is out. I am sorry, I can't see any other path for you. I wish that I could, but this is all I see." a sob escaping from her._

_"Carlisle!" My thoughts flashed through me as I processed what needed to happen to make sure Bella stayed as perfect as she was when I left her this morning sleeping soundly in her bed. We needed to leave. NOW! The thought brought pain crashing down upon me. I gasped at how unexpected and unbelievable the pain was! It was much more than I could have ever imagined, and that is saying a lot for a vampire! Our "birth" into this world is wrought with fire! It had to be done though, what choice was there?_

_"Son, what is wrong?" Carlisle was kneeling before me, as Esme moved behind and had her hands on my shoulders in an attempt to comfort me. I could still hear Alice sobbing in Jasper's arms while Emmett and Rose stood in the garage door watching the scene unfold in front of them._

_"Alice has seen me..." I could barely utter the hated words, "has seen me...killing..Bella." The pain crashed over me again. "She can't see the catalyst, therefore she cannot see how to prevent this atrocity, but she knows it will happen today. I will not let her die Carlisle!" I sobbed, "I can't. We need to leave, before she finishes her shift at Newton's this morning!"_

_"Calm down son, we may be able to find another way."_

_"There is no other way Carlisle, if we don't leave, Bella will die by Edwards hand. I am certain." Alice whimpered._

_Silence. _

_Esme began to sob and Alice took up the chorus again with her._

_"I will take care of everything. We will be gone within the next two hours." Carlisle said, the sadness so evident in his voice._

Edward, are you sure you do not want me to change her, then there will be no chance of you harming her, and we will not have to leave, which is obviously causing not only you, but the whole family such pain. You know this is what Bella wants anyway. _Carlisle's thoughts jumped into my head._

_"I will not have us take her soul Carlisle." I seethed._

_Carlisle sighed heavily, the sadness taking him truly now. I felt everyone's eyes on me, their thoughts pitying me. My silent heart..broke._

I dropped the drained carcass where I stood and walked back to my hut, ready to drop down and spend another month or so in burning torment before having to get up to feed again. Just then, my phone buzzed. I looked to see who it was, and put it back in my pocket when I saw alice's number. It buzzed again. This time I didn't even bother taking it out of my pocket. It beeped once to indicate I had a text message. I sighed and took it out and looked at the subject.

EMERGENCY YOU ASS!

I called Alice back immediately. Thought of my family and something happening to any of them running through my head.

Alice spoke so quickly, no human would have been able to understand a word she said. "EDWARD! Bella is going to kill herself! We are already on our way, but you will reach her before us, as we are in Europe! You have only moments! She's at 600 E. Division Street 2nd Floor, RUN!"

I panicked! I threw the phone down and ran, I pushed myself faster than I had ever in my long long life. Why, why would she do this!?!?! I knew she was unhappy, but to kill herself! I couldn't believe it! Not my Bella. I was already through Mexico and running up the west coast.

I didn't even bother to try to avoid large populated areas, as fast as I was moving, there was no way a human would be able to detect my presence anyway. A huge gust of wind is all they would feel. I ran out of California, I kept going, pushing myself even more. Was I going to be too late? If she died, how would I kill myself. I suppose the Volturi would be the only option, I know my brothers would never help me, despite my pleading.

As I entered Washington I prayed to God for the first time in 111 years! _ Please lord, I know I am not your child anymore, but please, pity me and let me be in time!_

I was through the open window in a heartbeat and the seductive scent of her blood hit me like a freight train as I surveyed the scene before me. The jewelry box, shattered on the floor, a piece of porcelain stained with Bella's blood. There was a trail of Bella's blood leading into another room. It took me only a fraction of a second to lock the monster up tight, and I followed the trail of her blood into the kitchen.

Bella sat on the floor leaning against the counter. The bloody knife still clutched in her hand. Her eyes were closed and her breath getting more shallow by the moment and gurgling with blood. Her blood pumped out of her with every beat of her heart. She would be dead in moments. I cried out in agony!

"BELLA! What have you done!"

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**This is my first fan fic. Please review. **


	3. Love Hurts

**I do not own anything Twilight...gosh, don't I wish!!**

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"BELLA! What have you done!"

EPOV

I had to think quickly. _Let her die or change her?_ Both options brought me pain and sadness. However, changing her was the option that brought the least of those, so that is what course I settled on. _Change her here or at the Cullen house?_ If I started to change her here, she may start screaming uncontrollably as the burning of the change takes over her body. That will surely draw attention from her neighbors.

However, with the amount of blood spilt around her apartment, if I left it here, she would never be able to come back to forks, at least not until the townspeople here were long buried. As they would surely suspect Bella was murdered, there would be no way to explain it. Not with the amount of blood around the apartment. Once I start changing her, I will not leave her side. I must offer her what comfort I can. But perhaps Alice could come and clean this while we waited for her to wake.

All this took less than a second for me to process, and I scooped up her limp body and jumped out the window in a flash. As I ran with her, I licked the deep gash in her throat, trying to close it up some so she would lose less blood in the trip. I pushed as much of my own venom into the wound in the process to start her changing.

The taste of her blood exploded onto my tongue and I nearly lost my senses right there. It was the most amazing thing I had ever tasted. At least this time I was prepared, as I'd had her blood when I'd sucked the venom out of her system in Phoenix last year. This had prevented her change when James had bitten her. The monster rattled loudly against his cage, begging me MERCILESSLY to let him lose. I was prepared for him though. I double locked the door.

"Bella, hang on, we are almost there." I was up the front stairs to the Cullen House when Bella's heart started to give out...it was slowing, rapidly, and I realized I needed to get more venom in her now, or there wouldn't be enough blood left to move the venom through her system. On the front porch, I laid her down and bit her multiple times on her legs, behind each knee, on each ankle. I was careful to reseal each bite as soon as I had gotten the venom in, to prevent any further blood loss. I repeated the process for the inside of her elbows and pushed my venom through the gaping holes in her already damaged writs. I used my venom again to seal the wounds. I went back to her neck and attempted to seal the gash again, and again pushing more venom into her system.

That was when her heart stopped.

I immediately started CPR. I just had to get the venom to her heart, once there, the chemical reaction would restart her heart and the change would be underway. I just had to get the venom to her heart. I prayed there was enough blood in her body to do that.

"Come on baby. Stay with me damn it. Don't give up! Don't you dare give up!" I screamed at her. I had to work to keep my compressions even, I didn't want to go to fast and send her body into shock. I had to watch my pressure too, being mindful not to crush the center of my universe as I desperately tried to save her....life? Existence? _God, please forgive me for taking her soul, but I can't live without her. Please, please forgive me. Bella, forgive me!_

"Come on Bella. You are stronger than this. BELLA, fight! Come on, fight baby!" 13...14...15... two breaths... 1...2 I did another set of 15, and another, and another. Almost five minutes had gone by, and still..nothing. I felt my eyes prick with tears I couldn't shed. "Bella, I love you." I sobbed "Please..." I whispered in agony.

Silence.......7..8..9..

Silence.....13..14..15

Silence...3..4..5 "No..."

A heart beat! Then another. I paused, I couldn't breathe. Suddenly her heart kicked up into high gear! I cried out in relief! It was the most amazing sound I had ever heard and I would have cried if I had been able to! I hugged her close to me. "Thank you, oh thank you!" I thanked the heavens, I thanked the earth and sky and air. I thanked God if he existed and in that moment, I was sure he did. I would give up my soul a second time if asked just to keep her with me always.

My happiness was short-lived. Bella's eyes popped open and a gut wrenching scream escaped her lips. It was still garbled with the blood and damage to her throat. I knew exactly what she was feeling. The change is not an easy thing to go through. You feel as though your body is literally on fire as the cells slowly die and you become living stone forever. She writhed on the porch floor.

"I'm sorry Bella."

I picked her up gently and carried her into my home. I brought her up the stairs and carried her to my room. It would likely be several more hours before my family would be here to help. As I entered my room, I suddenly realized I didn't have a bed. So I walked down the hall to Esme and Carlisle's room and placed Bella gently down in the middle of the king size bed. The blood all over her clothes was ruining Esme's expensive bed coverings, but knew she wouldn't mind. And the waiting began.

The first several hours were simply awful. Bella writhed and screamed and cried out for death. I started to doubt if I had done the right thing. I tried to talk to her, but her eyes stared at me as if I was a ghost and couldn't possibly be real. She looked away frequently shutting her eyes tightly. I watched as the tears of her torment escaped from her eyes.

"Please..please stop the fire. Stop..it Please PLEASE!" She begged release from her invisible assailant. Each minute felt like an eternity. Suddenly I became aware of my family being close. All were present save for Alice and Jasper. I assumed that Alice had seen my need for her assistance in Bella's apartment.

_It's ok Edward, we are here. We are on our way up._ Carlisle thoughts drifted to me. I felt such comfort having them close. I wanted to run to them, but refused to leave Bella's side.

"Bella, our family is here. We are all together again." I said softly to her. She cut her eyes to me and I wished more than anything I could understand what she was thinking. But unless I was wrong, what I saw in her eyes was hatred...

_What have I done?_

BPOV

"BELLA! What have you done!"

Wow, his voice sounds exactly the way I remember it. It had been years since I'd made the hallucinations appear to me. It was SO much more beautiful than I had remembered it. The melodies , the tone so smooth like fine silk, it danced through my ears. Dying was worth it to hear him just one last time. I felt cool hands on my neck. It was amazing how much they felt like Edwards hands! At least I remembered what it was like to be in his arms one last time...flying...flying away...with..........

The blackness felt like a vice around me. I couldn't hear or feel Edward anymore. I slowly allowed myself to be pushed under and into the darkness. I didn't feel the pain here. I didn't feel anything. How blissful this was!

I started suddenly TO feel something. It started a faint prick in my neck and slowly started to burn. Not bad at first...but the heat grew. That has to be from the damage I did to my neck. Oh please don't tell me I am going to spend my afterlife with pain because I killed myself! I started to think about all the pastors who had talked about damnation for those who took their own lives. Hmm.

Then my legs suddenly were there. I couldn't feel them one moment, and the next the same sensation I was feeling in my neck. Well, I know that isn't from the suicide, as I didn't do anything to my legs. Oh shit, am I in hell? My arms were burning now. Slow at first, but the intensity was increasing at an alarming rate. I couldn't understand what was happening. Had someone set my body on fire? Was the apartment on fire? Did I leave candles burning?

More and more intense. The fire has now moved up my legs, up my arms, down from my throat engulfing my whole body._ WHAT the fuck is happening?????_

I opened my eyes...and screamed with everything in my body! _STOP the fire, OH GOD, please stop it!_ _Where am I??_ I was looking at a porch ceiling. I could hear and smell the outdoors, it was still raining outside. I could hear someone breathing near me, sobbing almost. It was Edward. _This can't be real._

"I'm sorry Bella."

Oh my god, I know what this is now. _Edward bit me. He can't. No, he would never change me. He left me! He doesn't love me. Why is he here?_ My mind reeled and I felt sick. _No, this is hell_. I thought. I wanted to scream at him, but the fire stole my breath and I lost some coherent thought for awhile. I felt him pick me up and carry me into the house. I shut my eyes and tried not to scream, but at times I simply couldn't help it. This was by far, the worse pain I had ever felt in my life. I would give ANYTHING for it to stop!

I think I was laying on a bed. The fire increased. I couldn't believe it was possible!

"Please..please stop the fire. Stop..it Please PLEASE!" I cried out. I wanted to die. That is what I had set out to do, but now they were burning me at the stake for my weakness! _Oh please, let me die!_ I could feel my body thrashing about. Edward tried to comfort me. I looked at him with disbelieving eyes. He isn't really there. This is my hell. This is my personal hell! I could feel his fingers on my hands. Even his icy touch couldn't make the fire stop burning.

And it got worse from there. The hours slipped by. Each minute felt like a lifetime of pain. I begged Edward to kill me. Begged him to release me from this hell. Begged him to love me. Begged him to get away from me. And begged him to kill me again. He looked sick from it all.

"Bella, our family is here. We are all together again." He said weakly but full of hope.

I stared at this false Edward in total disbelief. This _is hell. He is lying to me. He is playing with my heart. I am not changing, I am burning for all eternity for killing myself._ I realized than that Edward would torment me forever. I could feel the hatred pouring out of me as I stared back at his beautiful golden eyes.

"GET OUT OF HERE", I screamed "I never want to look at you again you bastard!"

EPOV

I stood outside the door to Esme and Carlisle's room. I could here Esme inside attempting to comfort Bella as she screamed and writhed in the utter agony of the change. As she had wished, I had left her alone. I felt sick. I felt like a man on fire. After all this, I was going to lose her anyway. Would she ever understand that I only wanted to protect her? Would she understand that I loved her more than my life, my soul, that she was indeed my entire world? She was my LIFE! There was nothing without Bella!

I knew she was there before I could see her. "Alice." I whispered.

"I know you are hurting Edward. But think of how she is feeling right now. I am not even sure if she knows what is truly happening to her." Alice said as she walked up the stairs to me, Jasper not far behind.

_I am sorry brother. I know how much pain you are in._ He thought. I felt a wave of reassurance come over me, and glared at Jasper. It immediately went away. _Just trying to help._

"I don't need that kind of help!" I spat. "Alice, what is going to happen? Have I lost her? Will she forgive me?"

She showed me two different visions. One of us together, slowly working through all that had happened and finding our way back to eachother. The other.......of me alone, wandering the world."

I stared at Alice.

"I don't know what she will choose Edward. It's far too soon to tell. Her heart is broken, and though it will stop beating in about 19 more hours, I am not sure you will be able to put it back together again. Your venom won't fix that. Time, she will need time." Alice said. She reached up and pinched my nose. _I've missed you so much!_

"It's good to see you too shrimp." I tried to smile at my little sister, but my own heart just wasn't into it.

_You REALLY need to change your clothes Edward. No offense, but you stink. _Alice mused. I looked down at the rags I was wearing. Dirt and blood (both jaguar and Bella's) among other things clung to the scraps of cloth.

I started to walk to my room, intent on a quick shower and clean clothes so I could be back with Bella. She wouldn't permit me in the room, but I will be damned if she will make me leave the house. I wanted to be outside the door if she needed me.

_Time Alice had said. _I sighed._ Well, we will certainly have enough of that on our hands._

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**Chapters 1 & 2 were already in my head when I started writing. **

**These next chapters are kinda coming to me on the fly, including this one. I hope they as good as the first two, but I won't know unless you tell me! So PLEASE review. **

**=) **


	4. Fall from the fire

**I do not own anything Twilight...gosh, don't I wish!!**

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BPOV

I have been burning for an eternity, or so it seems to me. I don't think I've been screaming out as much as I was at first. Though the intensity of the pain hasn't decreased at all, if anything it's increased beyond all comprehension. However, for some reason I am able to process the burning in one part of my mind, while I am able to contemplate other things. These other things have helped to distract me a bit. Where did all this room in my head come from?

I thought about how Edward had told me that vampires could process so many things at one time, because of the way their brains worked. But, I can't be turning into a vampire, I mentally scoffed at the thought, Edward would never have allowed that and I know he was the one who was with me in the end. I remember hearing him as the last bit of blood pumped out of my body, well as I lost consciousness at least. I wasn't sure when the actual moment of my death had been. Alice must have tipped him off.

Maybe the reason he's been tormenting me in this hell, I guess it would be my version of hell, is he was the one that found me shortly before I took my last few breathes. I had never been much into religion before I died, but I did know that most of the religions agreed that if you killed yourself, you went to hell. It was pretty black and white. What I couldn't understand was why Esme was here too? When I thought of hell, Esme was certainly the last person I thought of! Edward was gone now, I "banished" him you could say. But Esme and Alice have been here comforting me, telling me it was going to be ok, holding my hand through the worst parts of the burning, and I am pretty sure I've at least heard Carlisle also.

Something changed suddenly. I could feel the burning pulling back from my fingertips and my toes. The fire was starting to recede up my arm, slowly. This made me very curious. If I was in hell, then why was the pain receding from my arms and legs.

It struck me then. I really am being changed. _HOLY CRAP!_ What does this mean. I thought Edward didn't love me. But then why did he change me. He had made it very clear before his disappearing act that changing me wasn't an option for me no matter how much he loved me. Of course, he had sworn to me he would never leave either and I knew how well he'd kept _that_ promise. The more I thought about it, the more confused I felt. There had to be a logical explanation for this.

I felt the fire pulling up past my elbows and my knees. Oddly enough, the intensity of the fire in my chest started to increase. My heart rate picked up. I wondered if I was nearing the end. I knew very little of the process of becoming a vampire. However, I felt like I had been on fire for days and one thing I did know it was only supposed to last for around 3 days.

The receding of the flames started to increase now, rapidly moving towards my frantic heart as it beat its last heartbeats of my human life. My back started to arch up as the pain in my chest increased to a torturous degree. Hmm, this is getting uncomfortable.

He must feel guilty, that is why he changed me. He doesn't love me still. It was the guilt that forced his hand. Shit. I felt the depression and rejection wash over me again.

Then suddenly a thought hit me like a ton of bricks. _OH NO! The pain of his rejection is still here, and now I am immortal!_ Damn him! He has cursed me. It really will be my hell. Life without Edward, is hell! And now my existence will go on forever! My dying heart started to ach with a new kind of pain.

"It's time." I heard Alice say softly. I could detect 6 other people in the room. I could feel the movement of air they stirred up as they moved about the room in preparation for me to "wake up".

The inferno in my chest accelerated! It felt like a bomb was going off. I couldn't help but start to scream! My heart, frenzied now, began to sputter and beat out of rhythm. Suddenly, it stopped. The burning had completely left my body, and now it was only in my throat.

I opened my new vampire eyes and gasped. I stared, looking at the inlaid copper ceiling above me. I marveled at the pattern and shades of copper. As I looked, I could see imperfections in the metal, parts that had other minerals in a higher quantity. It was amazing. With my human eyes, copper had been one color, but now, the variations throughout the metal would have been enough to keep me enthralled for some time. I heard someone chuckle.

I sat up and looked at the source of the noise. I took another deep gasp, at the 6 vampires standing before me. I was momentarily distracted by the sensation of actually breathing. It felt both unnecessary and very good at the same time. The taste and the feel of the air moving in and out of my lungs were unbelievable. I could smell and taste the tiny little dust motes, each one unique! I could taste in the air that the bed coverings were made of very fine silk. I made a motion to stand and could feel the clothing move against my skin. HOW amazing it felt. I looked down to see what I was wearing, and was surprised it was a cotton sundress...wait, how did I get in this dress..it felt like satin against my body.

_Focus Bella. _I heard a gasp in the hall, but didn't want to think about who it could be. I looked again to the vampires in the room. Closest to me was Jasper. I have seen each of the Cullens dozens of times, but until today I had never REALLY seen them. I already knew the Cullens were the most beautiful creatures I'd ever seen, but they were nothing compared to the way I could see them now. It was like I had been looking at them through a fog before. Every detail of their flawless faces. They were perfect. There was no other way of putting it.

Jasper looked at me with the most confused expression. "How are you feeling Bella."

"Confused." I said, and I was astonished at the sound of my voice. It sounded melodic and sweet. I was shocked, but tried to get back into the moment. "I am a vampire?"

"YES!" Alice beamed at me from just behind Jasper. I could tell she was standing on her tip toes trying to get a better look at me, and was frustrated that the men felt the need to hold her back.

I exhaled all the breath in me and stared at the wall. _A vampire. Forever. Alone and miserable for all eternity._

"I don't want to be. Will you please help me end this life."

"NO!" Edward stormed into the room knocking various members of his family out of the way. I was instantly on my feet and in a couch to defend myself when Edward stopped short, He realized he had put me on the defensive and held out his hands, palms open, in an attempt to show me he meant no harm. "Bella, please. Don't ask this." He said softly.

Rage. "Why shouldn't I. I was trying to end my miserable human life for a reason Edward. You left. Without a word, you left and no matter how hard I tried, NOTHING could take that awful pain away. Now, due to your guilt, I am immortal and the pain is still here! HOW could you do this to me. Why didn't you let me die?" I felt my eyes prick. I cried tearlessly, sobbing at the thought of living forever with a broken heart. "All of you. You all left me alone. I've been so lost without you!"

I saw the guilt spread across the faces of the vampires I had once hoped would be my family for all eternity. They each felt the pang, realizing what their leaving had done to me.

"Bella, I changed you because I can't live in a world where you don't exist. I love you." Edward whispered, his eyes burning with intensity.

"Don't you lie to me Edward because suddenly you are guilty for what you have done to me! You have condemned me to HELL! " I screamed.

There was a moment's pause when I saw Alice's eyes slide out of focus, but I didn't wait, and I was out the window and running as fast as I could. I could hear them running after me, and I figured it wouldn't take long for at least Edward to catch up to me, since he was so fast. So I pushed myself as fast as I could and to my amazement, he didn't seem able to keep up. They were all falling behind, Edward wasn't as far as the rest, but he was still losing ground.

"We have to stop her. She won't be able to control herself in a minute." Alice urgently said to her family. HER family, not my family. That thought hurt me so much! How many times had dreamed about being one of them. Dreamed that I could stand up next to Edward and actually look like I belonged with him. I had hoped so much that he and I would spend the rest of eternity loving each other. But that dream ended and turned into a deep nightmare when out of the blue all of the Cullens, including Edward, left without a word.

"BELLA!" Edward called out to me, sudden urgency in his voice. I only assumed whatever Alice had seen, "Wait, please! My love, wait! You are going to do something you are seriously going to regret, please talk to me."

"It's too late, she smells them." Alice said.

Without warning, my senses were assaulted with the most delicious smell I'd ever encountered. Venom immediately began to pool into my mouth and all thought of my pain and the vampires hot on my trail disappeared. I immediately changed course, but in doing so, Emmett was in a position to intercept me. I could feel him crashing towards me from the side and I immediately crouched ready to defend myself. I felt my face contort into rage at him for interrupting my hunt! I growled at him and I saw him smile in return.

Emmett held his arms out wide in an attempt to wrap me up. I jumped over him easily and caught him from behind. I grabbed one of his arms and slung him around and threw him as hard as I could. He flew through the air with surprise and shock written all over his face, no trace of his smile now. He intercepted a tree and crashed through it into a second tree. Both tree's were halved and the noise of the falling debris sent all the forest creatures scurrying for safety.

The momentary pause to defend my position was enough to allow Edward and Jasper to catch up as well. They attempted to cut off my route to the tormenting and delicious meal that was just over a mile away now. SO close. I wanted it so badly!

I was hit with a wave of calm and paused again, reconsidering my position and feeling slightly uncertain if I still wanted to proceed. In this moment of confusion, Edward acted. He jumped on me and pinned me to the ground.

"Let me GO!" I screamed in frustration! I started to push against his restraints and I was winning to Edwards horror. I was nearly in a position to be able to throw him off of me, when Jasper knelt down and added his strength to Edwards helping to keep me pinned to the ground.

"Bella," he said. I screamed when I heard him speak my name so tenderly. "Bella, _please_ listen to me. Those are humans you smell. Humans like your father. I am trying to prevent you from doing something that I know you will regret for the rest of your long life."

I stopped struggling immediately. I stared up at Edward and whispered desperately..."Get me out of here please!"

EPOV

I was running through the woods with Bella close behind me. I could hear my family accompanying us, but they were hanging back a bit. Alice hadn't foreseen any other catastrophic events happening, but with Bella's behavior being so unpredictable, they all felt it was prudent to keep close. It was already proven that just one on one, she could over power me. Her newborn strength was unbelievable, considering how much blood she had lost before her transformation.

We came across a herd of deer, and I instructed Bella how to let her senses go and she took one down easily and drained it. She had drained the first one before the others had gotten too far (plus my family was corralling them, trying to keep them nearby) so she was able to drain two more before she looked at me thoughtfully.

"Are you full?" I asked her, tentatively.

"I _think_ so. But the burning in my throat, it's still kind of there. Like I want to drink more, but I just don't think I can." she said quietly.

"Yeah, that will never go away, but in time, you will notice it less and less."

"Why are you here." She said, very bluntly to me. She sat down on a tree stump.

"I love..." she put her hand up to stop me. "Bella, listen..." She raised her hand again.

"I can't possibly listen to you declare your undying love for me, when you left me three years ago, without a WORD! Not a note, not a phone call. Nothing. How..how could you do that Edward. Did you finally grow tired of me as I had always feared you would?"

"NO," I was suddenly on my feet and trying to embrace her, but she was in a defensive crouch again.

_You are trying to go too fast Edward. Get control of your emotions! Tell her everything that happened. She is close to making her decision, and unless you do something soon, she will bar her heart to you forever._ Alice's thoughts drifted to me from a distance. I panicked!

"Sorry, Bella, but please you need to let me explain what happened. I promise I won't try to touch you again." I called out to my family then, "I need some privacy please."I paused then said, "Carlisle..."

Carlisle walked out of the shadows cast by the trees in this dense part of the forest. Bella didn't seem shocked, she had heard his approach, same as I.

"Are you sure?" he asked looking from me to Bella.

"I...I am under control Carlisle," Bella said, "I am so sorry about earlier. I don't know what happened. I just ran and suddenly I wasn't myself. Is Emmett ok?"

Emmett started laughing from somewhere in the forest. "It's going to take A LOT more than that little sister!"

For the first time, I saw a smile twitch in the corners of Bella's mouth and then immediately after she looked like someone had just taken her puppy away from her. I looked at Carlisle again, and nodded. _We will be out of hearing range, but we will still be close. I know Bella would never want to harm a human, and we need to do everything within our power to help her in that endeavor. She's hurting Edward. Don't push her too far._ I nodded again.

I heard my family pull back in respect to give us privacy. _Good Luck!_ Was the general consensus from my family as they moved out of hearing range, which included _my _ hearing as well.

I took a deep steadying breath and looked Bella in the eyes. She looked back into mine, and for the millionth time I wished I could hear what she was thinking. I had been so disappointed when she woke up, still silent to me.

I sighed again. "Where to begin," I said solemnly.

"How about the day you left me Edward, let's start there." Her voice was unsteady, showing me how deep the hurt and betrayal she felt went. There was that familiar pang of pain in the place where my silent heart was.

I turned and looked at her to look into her blood red eyes. Bella had always been the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on, but now, she intoxicated me! She had the face of an angel, and it hurt me to look away from her. She was looking at me, mesmerized. I knew my eyes were burning, deeply with passion, dazzling as she had always called it.

"Yes, that was the day I was going to kill you Bella..." I said slowly, ashamed.

She gasped.

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**Hey all. I am sorry this chapter took longer than usual, well usual for me that is. I changed the direction of the chapter several times, trying to figure out which road Bella was going to take.**

**Thanks for the reviews so far. Please keep them coming! **

**=) **


	5. All wrapped up in love

**I do not own anything Twilight...gosh, don't I wish!!**

_"Yes, that was the day I was going to kill you Bella..." I said slowly, ashamed._

_She gasped._

BPOV

I listened, with increased horror as Edward explained to me Alice's vision of him holding my drained and very dead body in his arms as he cried out to the heavens with his new blood red eyes. He explained how the family processed the best way to protect me, and the sad decision they felt when the decision turned out to be leaving forever. As they couldn't figure out the catalyst that caused my future death they couldn't have devised away to stop it from happening. I processed this as Edward was telling me the long arduous story. I could see the pain in reliving it flashing in his honey colored eyes.

"Where have you been the last three years?" I inquired.

He sighed, almost relieved to be able to get this off of his chest finally. "I was in Brazil. If I had been able to kill myself Bella, I might have tried it too. I made a little shack in deep in the jungle. I sat in it, on the floor, in the corner and thought of you. I only moved from that space when it became ABSOLUTELY necessary to feed. I would leave my little personal hell hole, feed, then return. I swear to you Bella, it was the worst thing I have gone through in all my long years. I was in more pain being away from you, than I'd ever felt, including the change." he raised his eyebrow to show the significance of the statement.

Having just gone through the change myself, and vividly remembering feeling that I had been tossed on a bed of burning coals, I knew that he must have suffered significantly. I sat, thoughtfully for some time. I am not sure how long I sat there pondering his words.

"Bella," he cried out. "Please tell me what you are thinking. Your silence is killing me."

"You couldn't call and explain?" I asked him, cocking my head to the side slightly.

"Would you have accepted it, or would you have tried to find me anyway. Would that have really made the pain of our separation better?" he asked.

"Knowing you loved me might have made it a lot more bearable." I thought out loud, I could see him almost twitching, wanting to come hold me. I looked into his eyes, and realized they were full of hope. "I suppose you are right though, I wouldn't have accepted that. Why wouldn't you have let Carlisle come change me then. Then you wouldn't have been able to hurt me and we wouldn't have had to spend the last 3 years in utter misery Edward." The anger flared up in me again. "If you had really loved me, you would have done anything to keep me with you."

He was the thoughtful one this time, debating on what he was going to say. It must be bad if he pondered this long, I concluded.

"I couldn't risk your soul." He said.

"But you've risked it now."

"My hand was forced. Changing you is the most selfish thing I have ever done, and it will be, even if I live forever. If I hadn't lost my soul before now, stealing yours away has certainly sealed the deal. And though my hand was forced by the threat of your imminent death, I will never forgive myself for taking your life and giving you this one."

"But you didn't take my life Edward, I did." I whispered

"Which reminds me," he was the one who was angry now, "Why the HELL would you kill yourself Bella! Do you have any idea what losing you in that way would do to me?"

"Well, how would I know since you left me Edward! I thought you had grown tired of me, I thought you didn't love me, I thought you wanted to be away from me!" I screamed at him. "How would you feel if I had left you, without a note, a word, a phone call?"

He came to me then, wrapping his arms around me. As much as I wanted to push him away, the feel of his touch set my heart on fire, in a very different way. "I would have searched the world for you, and I would never have stopped."

"Exactly...you would have been lost." I whispered.

"Yes Bella. I am so sorry I left you in doubt of my love for you. It has torn at my silent heart, all these years! If I could have wept, I would have every day I've been apart for you. You are my life Bella, that has not changed! Please tell me you forgive me, I can't bear to be apart from you another moment." Edward whispered desperately, searching my face.

"I...promise me you will NEVER leave me again. If there is a problem we will discuss it like EQUALS!" I stared deeply into his eyes.

"You have my word Bella. I will never leave you again unless true death takes me. I mean this with all of my heart, right down to my core." I could see his brain working as he pondered something for a moment. Then he slid down to one knee. "Bella, leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done in my whole life. To prove to you my love, my dedication, my commitment to you, and only you I lay my heart before you now and beech you to become my wife."

EPOV

_Please say yes...._I held my breath. I saw a multitude of emotions cross her face. Embarrassment, longing, uncertainty, fear, love and finally resolve. I waited.

"Edward, this life with you at my side is what I have always dreamed about since the day that I met you. I hoped and dreamed, maybe not for marriage, but that we could stand up, as equals and love each other for all time. I..." she paused and the true realization of what I did to her when I left hit me. I saw her try to unchain her heart to express her feelings, still so afraid I was going to hurt her again, "I..I love you Edward. Yes."

I exhaled and whooped with gleeful abandon. I jumped up and crushed my lips to hers. I felt her arms snake around my body and she pulled herself even closer to me. I parted my lips let my tongue run along her smooth, and so soft bottom lip. She immediately responded by parting her lips and allowing my tongue to dance with hers. I heard her sigh softly into the kiss. I relished in the fact I didn't have to be careful with her. I could kiss her with the intensity that I had always wished I could before. Neither of us needed to breathe, so there was no reason to pull away. I was in heaven!

I felt a consciousness touch my brain. I pulled back from Bella's kiss, and she whimpered at the loss of contact. I smile. "One second love, Jasper is approaching."

_Oh, wow, hey, um, I know you guys are kind of busy, but...we were going to head back to the house. Alice told us that you two are ok now, and we are all so happy. She's already back at the house planning an engagement party. _ Jasper thought, sheepishly. _I can tell how..um..happy the two of you are right now, so we are going to leave. Since Bella is fed and no longer on an emotional rollercoaster Carlisle thought you'd be able to handle her. Which by the way, we need to talk about her amazing control. In all my years, I've never seen a newborn you could reason with. Amazing. Anyway, see you in about an hour bro._ And with that, he was gone.

"Why didn't he come closer?" Bella inquired.

"He wanted to keep his distance and give us some privacy. I am sure he wasn't sure what he would have walked into, I am sure he is sensing the..um..passion we are feeling right now. He and the others are heading back to the house." I smiled down to her.

"So we are alone?" She asked, with a twinkle in her eye.

"Yes," I whispered back to her, barely audible.

"I've wanted to do this for years." And in one swift movement, her sundress was on the ground.

She was magnificent. I had to remember to thank Alice for putting her in such a beautiful lace bra and panty set. I stood, my mouth agape, staring at the goddess in front of me. Her deep chestnut hair falling in cascades over her ivory shoulders and down her bare back. I was dazzled by her beauty.

"Are you sure Bella. Traditionally we would wait until after the wedding," I smiled at her.

"There has never been anything traditional about us Edward, and I think I have waited long enough!"

She wrapped her arms around me then and pulled me down into her kiss. Her mouth was warm, wet and absolutely delicious. Slowly I moved my hands, which were resting on her perfect hips, up her body and towards her back. I started to slowly unclip her bra when she laughed.

"Well, this doesn't seem very fair Edward. You have far too many clothes on." she gave me an evil smile and purred, "Why don't you let me help you, my soon to be husband."

Oh, how wonderful that sounded. The countless weeks and months of misery, a forgotten memory. I was here, with Bella, and we were finally going to make love, for the first time. She moved her hands painfully slow to my belt buckle, and started to gently pull at the leather.

Without warning, I heard screaming. I realized it was in my head! I grabbed Bella and threw her behind me as a huge reddish wolf walked out of the woods. He face was a mixture of confusion and fear at my sudden reaction. She after all, couldn't hear the stream of cussing coming from the human in wolf form before us. I realized where we were, no mans land. It didn't belong to us, or the wolves. It was Jacob, and he was pissed!

_You fucking son of a bitch! You turned her? You left her, broker her spirit and then you TURNED HER! You broke the treaty bloodsucker! You a bit a human! You are going to pay for this! _

Jacob made a dash for me and I knew his brothers were likely already on the way.

"Jacob! Listen to me!" I screamed as I grabbed Bella and jumped up into the nearest tree.

_There is absolutely NOTHING you can say..._

"What do you mean, Jacob? THAT is Jacob???" Bella looked confused down to the wolf below whose face was contorted in pain and hatred.

"Yes, he and several of his tribe members are werewolves." I said quickly, then focused back to the threat below, "Jacob, if you had been any kind of friend to her, you would know that Bella attempted suicide. She slit her wrists and her throat. This was the ONLY way. She would be rotting in the ground now if I hadn't."

I hated to put it so bluntly, but I needed to reason with him as quickly as possible. Where the hell was Alice and WHY didn't she see this happening?

_If that is true, then it's YOUR FAULT! You filthy bloodsucker, I am going to enjoy tearing you to pieces._

"Jacob..." Bella whispered. "Jacob please. Change so I can talk to you."

"He says there is nothing to say." I said, but Jacob growled. "What, do you really want me to be that rude? Fine, he said there is nothing he wants to hear from you bloodsucker." My heart hurt for Bella.

"Jacob, please. This is what I wanted. Please do not punish the Cullen's for my bad choices. I did try to kill myself, I did want to die. I don't blame Edward, there is actually a really good reason for this. Please, you were once my BEST friend, will you please at least hear me out."

Jacob snorted, but retreated just out of sight and came back to face Bella. He was wearing a pair of cut off sweat pants. The wolves often carried the smallest bit of clothing possible, which they tie around their legs with a leather cord. Jacob was shaking, all over his body. Barely able to hold his form together.

"Make it quick Bloodsucker, my brothers will be here to rip you and your boyfriend apart in about 3 minutes."

"Jake, I am sorry I couldn't love you. You didn't do anything wrong. I wanted to, I truly did." I pleaded with him.

"You didn't even TRY!" he yelled!

"I did Jake, I swear I did! It was my flaw that led to the actions that forced Edwards hand. Please, reconsider. I tried to kill myself, Edward tried to save me, to keep me human, but I'd done too much damage and lost too much blood."

"Don't forget who left you Bella, I've been right here."

"He left because he was putting my life in danger. He left to protect me. He unfortunately couldn't see that I needed protection from myself. Jake, please." Bella pleaded with Jacob, but I could already tell it was falling on deaf ears. Jacob saw red, the rage was too great, he wouldn't spare the any of the Cullens. "And don't forget, you left too Jake." I could _hear_ from Jacob's head, that comment had hit the mark.

"It's all his fault. Bella, I will see if they will spare you, but your boyfriend dies. He broke the treaty that has kept peace between us for the last 90 years. He has to pay the consequences." Jake stated murderously.

"I will fight with him Jake, I will defend him. He is my soul mate. So you will have to kill me." Bella whispered back at him, letting the furry leak into her voice.

"Well, I wonder what you soul mate feels about all the time we spent together, how you gave yourself to me." Jacob mocked.

My head was flooded then with pictures of Bella, how she looked after I left, all the time they spent together...then pictures of her body, naked after they had been together. How she looked while she was underneath Jacob while he was thrusting in and out of her. Jacob remembered very vividly how it felt to be inside of her....

I felt sick. She had given herself to the dog! She had actually gone so far as to sleep with him. My body tensed and I stopped breathing.

"It meant nothing, Edward." Bella whispered softly. "It was a desperate act to forget you, and it obviously didn't work. I love you, I never felt anything for Jake."

In hearing that, Jacob could no longer hold his form and he burst into the red wolf again. He charged the tree, putting all of his strength into knocking it down. The first hit rocked us. The second threw us to the ground as the tree collapsed. Just then I could hear the rest of Jacob pack closing in on us. They were slowly surrounding us, I could hear their excitement, _finally going to get what's coming to them, oh yeah, killing the leeches, once we finish them, its time to get the rest of the Cullens!_

I was on my feet when Jacob charged. Bella threw herself in front of me before I could stop her. She was crouched in a defensive position and Jacob was almost on us when suddenly it was like he had hit a brick wall. He whimpered and got up to charge again. Once more, he couldn't make any progress. The rest of the pack was here now, and they had the same experience.

I was completely baffled. I looked down at my beautiful bride to be. "Bella?"

"They will NOT touch you!" She sneered, never taking her eyes off the wolves.

_I can't believe that Jake would do this. I will NOT lose Edward again. AM I creating the wall? I hope it goes all the way around us! God, what are we going to do, we can't stand here forever!_

Shocked, I stuttered "Bella, I...I can HEAR you. Whatever you are doing baby, keep doing it!"

**I had some trouble with this one too, but I think it goes the way folks hoped. You know Jake, always stirring up trouble. How are Bella and Edward going to get out of this situation. **

**Thanks for the reviews so far. Please keep them coming! **

**=) **


	6. Darker days

**I do not own anything Twilight...gosh, don't I wish!!**

BPOV

The wolves stalked around the invisible barrier that I apparently was able to create around Edward and myself. I assumed it was the fear of Edward's life being taken away by the man...or I guess a wolf..that used to be my best friend that made my unknown power snap into being. I had felt it push out from me, encompassing us in a circle of safety that extended out for approximately 10 feet all around.

As I reflected on our situation a thought, not of my own, popped into my head. _How can I explain this to them, how can I make them see there was no choice in this._

_Edward, is that you I hear?_

_Bella, you can hear me? You can hear what I am thinking...right at this moment? Say taco._

"Taco." I whispered so low the wolves wouldn't hear me, but I knew that Edward would.

_Holy crap! How? Have you been able to hear me since you "woke" up?_

_No, actually, _I thought to Edward. _Just since, well it's hard to describe, but since this bubble thing I am projection out, when it covered you, I could hear your thoughts._

_Hmmm I wonder..._

_Maybe we should wonder about this later Edward. Right now we have a problem, as in these wolves want to kill us._

_Yes, sorry. You are right._

_Tell me the limitations of this treaty he is talking about Edward. _He explained everything to me then, in our thoughts. How Jake's great grandfather had come across them in the woods and how Carlisle convinced them they weren't a threat, as they didn't feed on humans. They worked out an agreement that as long as the wolves and their tribe wouldn't ever tell the humans what the Cullens' were, the Cullens agreed never to bite a human for any reason.

A thought occurred to me then. _I got it, Edward, just go with me on this..._

"Jake, Edward didn't bite me," and I received a snarl for that comment. "Please, will you at least let me finish. By the time Edward arrived, there was no way to save my human life, or he would have first. I had cut both of my wrists, and when that didn't seem to be going fast enough, I walked into my kitchen and took a butcher knife to my throat."

That was met with silence from the pack. In fact, they not only stopped growling, but they stood still, frozen in shock at the violence I had taken, against myself. It was plausible that Edward wouldn't have to bite me, but the truth was I was sure he did. In my haze of darkness, I remember the heat coming from my elbows and knees as well as the self inflicted injuries. So I knew that Edward HAD bitten me, but the wolves didn't have to be informed of that.

_Hmmm I can't hear them anymore, _Edward suddenly realized. _It must be because of your shield. I can't tell how they are taking this...keep going though._

"Don't you see?? He didn't bite me. But when he knew that I couldn't be saved in human form, he pushed his venom into my wounds...wounds I created!" I pleaded. "Now we can talk about this like adults, or Edward and I can stand here for an un-ending amount of time. It's your choice."

I saw a large black wolf recede into the woods and a moment later, Sam Uley returned, wearing a pair of tan cargo shorts that had rumpled and a few grass stains and that was all. Sam was about 23 years old, but his body told a different story. Like all of the member of the wolf pack (assuming from seeing both Jake and Sam) their bodies were several years advanced. Jake was only 19, but he looked closer to 30, physically. They also were muscle on top of muscle. I could see how a human would be intimidated by the look of these boys in and out of wolf form. As for vampires, intimidation wasn't exactly the feeling the wolves produced. While the vampires respected the wolves, they were considered more of a nuisance. They were still flesh and blood after all.

"Sam," I said hesitantly. I could see Edward nod to him from the corner of my eye. I could tell from his thoughts he was intrigued and possibly hopeful that this was going to work and the wolves would accept this. Sam doesn't often transform to parley with his "enemy" were Edwards thoughts.

"Edward, speak plainly. Is what she says the truth?" Sam said, quietly and steadily. Despite the steadiness of his voice, I could see the slight tremors in his hands. They would likely be unseen by the human eye, but I could see it.

"Yes. When I found Bella, she had 5 minutes left to her human life. The gashes in her arms and neck were such that I didn't need to bite her, nor would I have done so if there was any other way to save her life. This was my last resort. I wouldn't have changed her if I didn't have to."

Even though I understood what he was saying, after all, he and I had fought about it constantly prior to him leaving me three years, it still hurt to hear him say that. As irrational as it was, it brought up those rejection feelings again.

Edward stiffened next to me, and I suddenly remembered he could hear what I was thinking. _Sorry, I can't help it._ I thought at him.

Meanwhile, Sam stood thoughtfully. He turned to the pack. "I don't believe this is what was intended when the treaty was created. Unless there is some other transgression that we don't know about.." Sam turned to look Edward in the eyes, "**yet**, we need to stand down."

Jake let out a furious growl of what I can guess was protest. At that exact moment, some of my new family emerged from the woods. They had been coming at us up wind, as none of us had detected their scent on the wind. Carlisle was in front and his posture was relaxed, his hands open and unthreatening. Jasper and Emmett were close behind him. Jasper and Emmett looked ready for a fight, Carlisle was prepared to negotiate.

"Sam, how nice to see..."

Before Carlisle could finish Jake charged Carlisle. He was running full force at him, teeth bared, growling ferociously. I was barely able to get my shield, if that is what it was, around Carlisle in time. Jake hit that invisible wall again. He was laid flat out, but was up shaking his head within seconds.

Carlisle looked at me, _hmm, this has to be coming from Bella,_ he thought but kept silent. I tried to see if he could hear me as well. _Yes, it is Carlisle, apparently, _I thought "at" him_._ I saw the shock cross his face, and I knew that he heard me. But now was not the time to experiment with this new talent of mine, as exciting as it was!

I refocused on the pack and the anger coming from Sam. Many of the wolves were making disgruntled sounding noises, oddly enough. I wasn't sure though if this was due to my mysterious shield or the fact that Jacob had clearly lost control. Sam, however, was furious at Jake.

"Jacob Black, I ORDER you to stand down, at once." Sam bellowed at Jake who was already on his feet, circling the new addition to our side, trying in vain to find the chink in our armor. But upon hearing the order given by Sam, it was as if Jake's legs gave out from under him and he sank to the ground, whimpering.

"Carlisle, I....am..sorry, about Jake, that is. He is thinking with his emotions today, and not his head." Sam gave Jake another stern look.

"We were just wondering what happened to Edward and Bella, as they were expected back at the house by now. I am sure they have explained to you the circumstance to Bella's change."

"Yes, it has been explained. Though I think we all agree it would have been better if Bella died," _Ouch, _I thought. Sam paused, looking at me significantly. I hardly had known Sam before today I'd seen him a couple times, but to hear something so bluntly, even from someone I didn't really know, left a mark.

"We understand there was no break in the treaty as Edward did not bite her." he went on to finish his statement, looking at Carlisle then, hoping that he would give something away.

Carlisle merely inclined his head. As the situation was finally under control and my family no longer in danger, I felt my shield slip back to myself.

"Hmm, how interesting." I heard Edward mumble so quietly I doubted the wolves heard him. The wolves were starting to back away from us, and we were doing the same. Edward turned to me, and after I quickly threw my sundress back on over my exposed body, he wrapped his arm around my waist and we turned to leave. We were walking to meet the rest of our family when without warning (at least to me) Jacob attacked Edward from behind. Edward knew only a split second before as he threw me in front of him out of harm's way. I was picking myself up on the floor when I heard the horrible screeching cracking noise. As if metal and stone were in a great battle against each other. The noise was awful, even more so, since I knew it was coming from Edward.

I turned on Jacob and unleashed my wrath. Without even realizing what I was doing, I attacked Jacob, wrapping my arms around him and squeezing his body hard. I heard bones crunching under the pressure I was putting on Jakes body. Jake and all the wolves howled in pain at the same time. Jake immediately dropped Edward's mutilated arm, releasing him as I squeezed the life out of him.

"Bella!" Carlisle screamed and I dropped Jake immediately and turned to defend my injured mate.

Jake was laying on the ground, unmoving. I held my breath ready for the wolves attack. I held by breath, because I feared I had killed the man who had once been my own personal sunshine in the darkest time of my human life. I had my shield out again though, and I knew my family was safe.

"Edward?" I whimpered.

"I'm ok. I didn't hear him in time. It's not too bad, it will heal." He said, but I could hear the pain in his voice.

"Jake?" I whispered, nearly incoherently. He didn't respond.

Sam approached Jake. He was shaking all over, barely able to hold his form together. "Oh Jacob, what have you done!" he moaned, the pain evident in his shaky voice.

Sam knelt next to Jake, and the other wolves gathered around. Jake was breathing, I could see that now. I was so relieved, but still tense as I didn't know how much damage I had done. Jake must have been unconscious, as he suddenly changed back into his human form. I had to close my eyes. His body was crumpled and bones were sticking out in very odd angles.

"He is alive, but critically injured." Sam said to the pack. "He looked at Carlisle and then to Edward. "You would be within your rights to finishing him, as much as it causes me...us pain."

Carlisle didn't wait for Edward's answer, and he rushed to Jacob's side, to help him. "His bones, they need to be set Sam. He is starting to heal already. We need to set them quickly, or we will end up having to re-break several of them. If you like, I can get my things and meet you in LaPush to tend to his injuries. Unless of course you want to bring him to our home, if you are comfortable with that"

Sam looked shocked. "You would do that for him, even though he just broke the treaty and attacked one of your family without just cause?"

"Yes, Sam. I would. Just because we are no longer living, does not mean we don't have hearts and can't feel compassion when someone is hurting." Carlisle said quietly. "We must move quickly though, if we are to spare him additional pain Sam.

"Of course. Paul, Embry, I need you to change so you can carry Jacob. We will bring him to LaPush. As much as I appreciate your offer, I am not sure we would be able to control ourselves enough to be in your home. The instinct to fight is too great."

"Not a problem. If you don't mind, my other two son's will accompany me to assist if needed. We will meet you at Jacob's father's house?"

"That will be fine." Sam said, stiffly.

I dropped my shield again, somewhat hesitantly considering what had happened the last time I did so, and forced myself to look at Edward's arm. It was cracked, and turned at an odd angle the way a statue's would if it had been damaged. It looked extremely painful, but if it was, Edward was handling it well. I could see Jake's teeth marks in Edward's arm.

He put his good arm around me whispered into my hair. "It will heal Bella." Even as he spoke, I could see some of the largest cracks in his marble skin becoming smaller. The small cracks had resealed themselves completely at this point.

I wrapped my arm around his waist as well, and we ran back to the Cullen house. Once we arrived in the clearing, I could see Alice, Rosalie and Esme standing on the front porch anxiously awaiting everyone's return.

"You're OK!" shouted Alice as she ran to meet us. "I saw you all one moment, and the next you were gone. It was if your lives had been erased! When I told Carlisle, he Jasper and Emmett set out to find you, but as soon as they were out of sight, they disappeared as well." Alice said, completely exasperated and relieved at the same time.

"Edward, your arm!" Esme exclaimed as she came out to meet us with Alice. I noticed that Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett were already back out of the house and on their way to LaPush.

"Don't worry, mom, it will heal. It's already much better." Edward said sheepishly.

When I looked, it was amazing how much it had healed already. It would be perfect again within the hour. I stared off into space, wondering how Jake was doing, as Edward quickly explained everything that happened while we were in the forest. Well, almost everything. He discretely left out our private moments together.

I suddenly realized it was quiet and everyone was looking at me. "Hmm?" I said, thinking I had missed something.

"I was telling them about your special ability, Bella." Edward said.

"Yeah, I might be a just a little to overwhelmed to even think about that at the moment. When do you think we will know about Jake's condition?" I asked, and I saw an emotion flicker across Edward's face, but he'd reigned it in too quickly for me to figure out what he was feeling.

"I am sure it won't take long for Jake to heal," Edward said, somewhat sourly. "Which means he will be back to his _charming_ self in no time. Which reminds me Bella, "Edward turned to look at me with a whole range of emotions on his face. "We need to talk, and I think now would be the perfect time.

_Crap._

**I hope you are liking the story so far. I have so many ideas rattling around in my brain, it has been hard to commit them to paper in a way that actually makes sense! :)**

**This chapter took a couple different turns before I settled on this course.**

**Thanks for the reviews so far. Please keep them coming! **

**=) **


	7. Two worlds collide

**I do not own anything Twilight...gosh, don't I wish!!**

BPOV

I looked at the back of Edward's head as we ran through the woods in the opposite direction of the incident earlier that day. Edwards movements were so graceful and I idly wondered if I looked the same now. I didn't realize where Edward was taking me until we were already there. We came in from a completely different direction than I was used to, so I gasped as we broke the tree line into our meadow. It had been years since I'd set foot on this sacred place. Sacred due to the memories it had of mine and Edward's early love for each other.

Edward slowed and stopped in the middle of the field. As it was September, there were no wild flowers in bloom, but the grass was lush and unbelievably green. I stayed in the shadow's and waited. I could only imagine that this was the result of Jacob and the horrible things he showed Edward when we were together.

"Bella, you slept with him?" he said bluntly. I could hear that he was working very hard to keep his voice steady and smooth.

"You said yourself Edward, you hoped I would be happy. I tried. It didn't work, there was only you."

As truthful as this was, I knew for some reason it wasn't appeasing him, and I could feel the dull anger building up. I had a feeling this wasn't going to end well.

"No, there wasn't only me. There was Jacob. After I left, I was a shadow of a man. I couldn't think, I couldn't function without wanting to break down every moment. But you ran off to Jacob, and gave yourself to him."

"Edward, that isn't fair, and you know it. After all, _you left me_, without a single word, you cannot possibly blame me for anything that happened after you walked out of my life!" The fury was starting to build now. "And if you don't think I suffered while you were gone, don't forget how you found me. THAT was because you left."

I could see that hit a mark, and Edward winced. But I could also see his resolve that something was askew.

"Yeah, perhaps because you couldn't make it work with the dog. I had left and then the dog left, so you felt you had no other options. I can't believe you gave yourself to him."

With my anger, my shield burst out of me, and encompassed us both. Though they weren't as intense as they had been when I was human, in my mind I tried to relive every moment that Edward was gone. If he doubted my pain, I would have to show him just what his leaving did to me.

EPOV

I knew my anger and feeling of betrayal was completely irrational. I had left her after all, but no matter what, I always envisioned us being the other's "first" and my heart was broken now because that would never be. Like I said, completely irrational.

Without warning, her shield must have surrounded me, as I was mentally assaulted with pictures of life after I had left. Going to my house to find it empty, being found there at 4 in the morning in the pouring rain, the gut wrenching pain at realizing we were truly gone, crying every day and every night for months straight, night terrors that never seemed to end, how it felt to be around Jake in the first months after I'd gone, how she had used danger to force a hallucination of me, the night she gave herself to Jacob and the amount of tears she cried after because it wasn't me, the 4 month stay in the state mental hospital, coming home and finding Charlie wanted her out of the house, moving out and into the dingy apartment where I had found her, Jacob finally turning his back on her, the bitter things he'd said, the multiple times she went to the Cullen house and slept on the porch crying herself to sleep, her dark celebration of the day I left each year, all of it leading up to her attempted suicide. Through out the whole experience, I felt her pain, and I recognized it oh so well. I also saw the absolute emptiness within her, I felt the gaping hole in her chest, I experienced the relief she felt when she thought she would be e dead soon. The desperate longing, the hatred of herself for not being enough, the loathing of her very essence..I couldn't stand it!

I fell to my knees. She stayed perfectly still, her eyes closed, continuing to flood me with these awful memories.

"Stop," I gasped, "Please, Bella, please stop." The chanting went on in my head, _I want to die, I want to die, I want to die._ It took all the energy I could must to run over to her and shake her. "BELLA, STOP!"

And it was gone. She opened her scarlet eyes, they were deep and mournful. I stared into them for a long time. She stared right back. After several minutes she said simply, "Do you see?"

"Yes. I am so sorry." I whispered to her. "I knew you were sad, Alice couldn't hide the visions of your depression, but I didn't know how bad it had gotten for you."

"But wasn't it the same for you?" She asked, her voice shaky and uncertain.

"Oh yes, my love, it was. It was." I murmured into her hair. She smelled so good, so sweet. She smelled like honeysuckle and freesia.

"Than you cannot hold my attempt to make the pain go away against me Edward. It's not fair." she sobbed, and my heart broke again for her pain.

"You are right, I cannot apologize enough for my behavior. I am truly ashamed of myself, more than I already was."

"Why do you keep saying that, that you are regretful, that you are sorry, you are ashamed. Do you wish you had not turned me? Do you wish that I had died, is that what you are regretting. I heard, clear as anyone, how you told Sam you would have done ANYTHING else to save me, but this was the only option. Do you really love me Edward, or was my first suspicion of guilt more accurate that even you realize." she cried out. "Tell me the truth Edward, I can handle it."

"I do not regret that you are here with me Bella. It gives me more joy than you may possibly ever know. I am ashamed that I wasn't able to save your human life. I will never forgive myself for taking that life away from you. Never ever."

"Edward, we have been through this before. You GAVE me life by making me like you. Trust me, what I had before wasn't a life. It was a sad echo of a life." She took my hands and put them on the curve of her hip. "This Edward, this is real. I am here, and so are you. We can be like this always, we will never die. It was what I always DREAMED about, and you have given me this dream Edward."

"Yes," I said softly. "Forever." I pulled her close to my body. "I am sorry I misbehaved about Jacob. I understand now, completely what you were trying to do. I hold no ill will about that anymore."

"Good, because the entire time, all I could think about was how much, how I would give anything, my soul, my blood, my life, for it to be you and not him. _God_ how I wanted it to be you. I cried so much after he left, so mad that I wasn't strong enough to resist him, that I was weak enough to believe that it may have made me happy. But Jake is a poor woman's Edward. He could never even stand in your shadow."

She looked up at me then, her eyes hooded and a slow smile breaking across her face. I couldn't resist myself from crashing my lips to hers. She smelt so amazing and her lips against mine felt like home. She was right. This was perfect, this is where we belonged, forever.

I ran my tongue along her succulent bottom lip and she opened her mouth to mine, her tongue greeting mine like a lover. We had never kissed like this when she was human, I was so afraid of nicking the inside of her mouth with my razor sharp teeth, then there would have been no stopping the venom from getting into her system. I loved kissing her like this.

I moved my had to the base of her neck, entwining my fingers into the chestnut locks of her luscious hair. I tried to pull her closer to me, and she eagerly complied. She whimpered when I pulled from her lips but kept them on her body, moving them down her neck, nipping her playfully as I went. I reached her shoulder and gave her a bit of a stronger bite. I heard her growl, deep within her chest. It was an amazing sound, I'd never heard anything like it before. It sounded like lust.

A new scent hit me then. It was Bella, but MUCH stronger. I suddenly realized it was her arousal to the marathon of kissing we'd been doing. I pulled back and looked into her eyes.

"Do you want to stop Bella? I don't ever want to do something you don't want to do. You just tell me what your limits are and..."

"Edward," she laughed, "Shut up and kiss me!"

BPOV

Edwards hands felt so wonderful, one around my waist, the other in my hair, securing me to him. But I wanted more. I maneuvered on of Edwards hands around to the front of my body, and slowly slid it up to my breast. He pulled back, looking me deep in the eyes.

"I want to pick up, where we left off before the wolves rudely interrupted us Edward. I want to know you, my future husband. I want to know ALL of you." I said, in the most seductive voice I could muster.

His eyes grew larger in surprise, but then he attacked my lips with more fervor than before.

What a change this was from the old Bella. I don't think I would have ever attempted this with Edward before, but we were on even playing fields now. In fact, I giggled mentally, I could technically hold him down and have my way with him. HA! What a change that would be! But I was suddenly distracted as I felt Edward sliding the straps to my sundress off my shoulders.

I let the dress slither down my body to the ground, and stepped out of it, into Edwards waiting embrace. I could feel his hands exploring every inch of my body that was exposed. Since I was in a midnight blue lace bra and thong, there was a lot of skin for him to explore. But I wanted so much more!

I slowly started unbuttoning Edwards shirt, taking great effort not to rip it from his body. But the burning desire got the best of me, and the last few buttons went flying.

Edward chuckled against the skin of my neck. "Eager, are we?"

"You have no idea!" I said softly.

"Hmmmm." he hummed against my skin, stirring something deep within my center. "Oh, but I do Bella. I have waited, a very long time for you, my darling future wife."

At vampire speed, his pants were on the ground and I realized that Edward, didn't wear underwear. My breath caught in my throat, at the sight of Edward. He was a gracious plenty and I suddenly realized I'd never seen any man completely naked before.

I reached my hand out and tentatively wrapped my fingers around him. Edward shuttered at my touch, his eyes rolling back into his head. He was beautiful, and his manhood was no exception. He pulled me to him quite suddenly, and I could feel him hard, and ready against my stomach. My core, simply ached for him. His lips were anxious, desperate on my own now. His hands removing the last bit of cloth that separated us from being completely one with each other.

As my I stepped out of my panties, Edward stood back and admired me. I waited to feel the warm blush from his appraising gaze, but it never came. He swooped me up into his arms and slowly laid me down in the soft grass. His eyes were burning with desire, and my body felt the same. How long had I dreamed about this moment.

Edward hovered above my body, teasing me by keeping our bodies from touching. He would lower his head, and nip my skin, everywhere but where I REALLY wanted him to be. I moaned in frustration. I could feel him smile against my shoulder right before he bit me again. This time I moaned from pleasure.

I reached up and ran my fingers down his washboard stomach. Each muscle was perfectly sculpted. I moved my hands to his back and tried to pull his body to mine, but he resisted. I knew I was stronger, and I could force him down if I really wanted to, but decided to let him have his way with me.

"Edward, stop teasing me." I whined.

"I am just worshipping you, as the goddess you are, Bella."

Suddenly I felt his mouth on my right breast. His mouth was circling around my nipple without actually touching it. I could almost feel the wetness between my thighs start to drip at this torturous teasing. Just when I was felt like I was bouncing up and down with anticipation, I felt his velvet lips take my hard nipple into his mouth. I arched my back, giving him better access to me.

His hand started to message my other breast, rolling my pebbled nipple between his thumb and his forefinger. His touch, his tongue were sending electric currents of pleasure right to my wet center. As I arched my back up, Edward slipped one of his arms behind my back, pulling me closer to him. I started moaning, almost uncontrollably as he relentlessly worked on my nipples, effectively driving me crazy.

His mouth started to move then, sliding down my body, both his hands sliding down my body as well. He was licking and kissing my tummy, then my hips, then my thighs, my knees, my calves, my ankles, then he moved back up again, until his mouth was kissing my inner thighs. Edward inhaled, deeply.

"You smell, amazing Bella. My mouth is watering, just imaging your taste, I just can't resist it any longer."

I cried out as I felt his wide, flat tongue licking my wet folds. "Oh God Bella!" Edward cried, and he went in again.

His tongue was wet, dripping with venom and felt like satin against my most sensitive of areas. Edward had lifted up my bottom getting a handful of ass cheek in each hand, and dived into me with his tongue. I could feel his speed increasing, his tongue rhythmically moving up and down against my sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Oh, God Edward, please, please don't stop!" I mumbled almost incoherently. I twisted my hands into his hair, pulling his head, and his delicious tongue closer and deeper into me.

Out of nowhere he slipped a finger into me. I cried out! I hadn't even felt his hand leave my ass. His long finger pumped in and out of me, while his tongue worked his magic on my clit. I could feel the coil of pleasure building up, getting ready to snap. Edward added a second finger and started to suck on my clit. The result was instantaneous!

"Edward!" I screamed as waves of pleasure crashed over my body! I could feel him climbing back up my body as he made his way up to my mouth and the waves continued to crash. I noticed he hadn't quite removed his hand from my center, but still played lightly with my clit as he kissed his way to me.

I felt the weight of his body on me, and as his lips crashed down onto mine, I felt his fingers leave and he was poised at my entrance. He pulled his head away from me and stared down into my eyes. I was overwhelmed with the love of the god hovering above me.

"I dreamed of this, Bella." Edward slid into me then, painfully, in a good way, slowly.

I cried out. "Oh god Edward!" As he filled me all the way.

Once he had pushed himself all the way into my wet and aching center he whispered into my ear "This is how it is supposed to be Bella." He pulled out and pushed himself all the way in again "we are one." Again he dragged himself out and pushed into me, harder this time, "No one can separate us, you are mine." His speed was picking up now." You are mine, and I am yours."

I wrapped my legs around his body, and he picked me up, until we were in a sitting position, with Edward on his knees. He never broke his rhythm. It suddenly occurred to me to throw my shield around us both. As soon as I did, we both shuddered as the intensity of the moment, the feelings and the pleasure increased tenfold. I heard him, his thoughts intoxicated my mind. We could hear each other, and in this most intimate moment, we could FEEL what the other was feeling as well.

I couldn't speak. _Edward, Edward, God, don't stop! Yes, please, faster! _I could feel that coil building and building again. Edward was moving much faster now. My legs were still wrapped around his body, his hands on my hips, picking me up and slamming me down onto him over and over again. He dipped his head and took a nipple into his mouth.

I lost it then, screaming incoherently as the orgasm ripped through my body. Even as I was coming down off the waves of pleasure, I craved more of him. I slid my hands to his shoulders and pushed, he complied, laying down on his back. I could feel how close he was, but how hard he was fighting to resist. _I could feel that, Bella, I felt your pleasure, this is..so intense._

I hovered my honeyed center over him. He looked at me, desperately, longingly. I plunged down onto him and he threw his head back. _OH god, _he thought, _This is so much more than I imagined, I can't hold off much longer...._Started slowly, sliding up and down him, I could tell how good it felt to him. I placed my hands on his chest, running my fingers over his perfection. He obliged by doing the same. He cupped my breasts, running his thumbs over my already hard nipples. I could feel the electricity going right to my core again.

I started moving faster then, grinding myself into him. I could feel the coil building for a third time, Edward could feel it too, and it was sending him over the edge, quickly. He sat up, putting both his hands on my ass, pushing me harder onto him, increasing the speed. He took a nipple into his mouth, and sucked and licked like it was dripping with honey.

"Edward, OH EDWARD!" I screamed.

I heard him scream out my name, as we came together. Both of us, feeling our orgasm's and each other's as well. Despite our lack of needing to breathe, we were both panting, kissing, licking, and loving each other. It took several minutes for us to both calm down, to breathe at a normal rate, to calm our minds.

"And to think," Edward mused, "Today is only the first day, of forever."

**I know you all have been waiting for this! My longest chapter to date! haha. Don't worry, it's a happy ending to the chapter, but it's not the end of the story, not yet. You don't think Jake will stand for this, do you? **

**THANKS for the reviews, but I want MORE! Haha. So, please keep them coming! **

**=) **


	8. Unrelenting Passion

**I do not own anything twilight...gosh don't I WISH!**

EPOV

I sat, quietly observing Bella as she fetched her discarded sundress and under garments from the meadow's soft floor. We had been laying in each other's arms, talking and pondering life, for the last several hours. We had made love four more times before we decided our family was likely wondering where we were.

The sun had set, hours ago, and Bella by moonlight was a vision to behold. The way the soft light played on her ivory skin moved me. It was as if she were some mythical creature, sent to ensnare all who beheld her. Her beauty almost glowed in the moonlight enhancing her in ways I simply didn't think were possible. I was overcome with love and lust again, and moved to wrap my arms around her, when I heard my cell phone buzz in the pocket of my pants. I sighed.

I fetched my cell and glanced at the caller ID and was completely unsurprised it was Alice. "Yes, little sister." I said tonelessly as I snapped the cell phone open.

"You have had her for HOURS now. Don't forget, we were supposed to be having an engagement party for you two. Now I know the wolves ruined that, but you can't keep her forever Edward! I love her too, now bring her home!" she berated me. I could almost see her stomping her foot.

"Fine, we are on our way." I said grumpily.

Bella was there suddenly, whispering breathily into my ear. "She will never know, if we make it quick, my darling."

Before I could blink, we were wrapped into each other again, exploring as if it were the first time. One hand was caressing Bella's lower back, and the other pulling her face into a deep, longing kiss. Each kiss felt as though we'd kissed a thousand times before. Despite being lovers for only hours, rather than centuries. This reaffirmed my belief that she was my soul mate, in all ways possible.

I left her lips and moved to take a nipple into my mouth. I heard Bella sigh, lustfully as I licked her hardening peek. The whispering touch of her shield touched me then, and I knew we were connected again, mentally as well as physically.

_I don't know how I am going to manage this constant desire for you Edward!_ She thought desperately. _Mere moments after you satisfy me, I crave you again. It's almost maddening! _

My mouth left her left nipple to give some love to her right one, but my fingers picked up where my mouth left off. I rolled her nibble between my fingers, tugging on it slightly as I sucked and licked her right one. I knew how much this drove Bella crazy. It sent shocks of pleasure and desire straight to her clit. I could feel the intensity of it, thanks to her amazing shield.

I lifted her up the, and she immediately wrapped her legs around me, putting myself at her entranced, poised to dance with her again. I walked over to the nearest tree, never removing my lips from her breast and pushed Bella's back against it. I knew it wouldn't hurt her, despite the roughness of the bark, it would feel as soft as the grass to her.

I lifted my head to meet her eyes, as I plunged myself into her. We both shuttered and sighed with the contact. I began moving slowly inside of her, pulling out all the way before plunging in completely with each blissful thrust. I could feel Bella's nails digging into my marble skin, as she clutched my shoulders pulling herself to me as I thrust into her. Since she was holding her body in place, I kept my hands busy. One stayed with her hard nipple, rolling it with my thumb and forefinger. The other hand was entwined in her hair. I pulled her head to the side so I could have access to her ivory neck.

I started with soft kisses, as I kept my rhythm slow and steady. Then I let my teeth graze her neck and began thrusting into her harder and faster. I could feel Bella's body start to shake with pleasure. _Yes Edward, yes more..._Without warning, I bit down on her neck and she cried out, clutching me even harder. As I bit her neck, I was thrusting so hard, I began to hear the wood in the ancient oak tree begin to crack from the pressure.

I move my hand then, to her hard bundle of nerves and heard from her thoughts that's exactly what she wanted. I started massaging her clit, which was already wet from her excitement. We were sending each other a steady stream of wants and desires, each of us moving to fill the other person's unspoken needs.

I could feel her climax building.._Oh God, faster Edward..._she thought desperately and I was happy to comply. I could feel us both building, and knew Bella would reach her ecstasy before I would, which of course would likely push me over the edge. Though Bella's shield, I could feel the intense sensation she was feeling, the coil that was building and about to snap!

I pinched her clit softly as I bit down on her neck exceptionally hard, and she screamed out in pleasure. Her orgasm hit me like a tidal wave, and I grabbed her hips and slammed into her, growling as my own release followed. Wave after wave of pleasure hit us both, as I kept grinding myself into her wet, delicious core. We both new, if we kept going, slowly, delicately, it would be only a matter of moments before would could repeat this process. Somewhere in my mind, I wondered if humans worked this way as well.

_I could be with you like this, every day of forever Bella, and it would never get old!_ I thought. _We will never get tired, never need sleep. I have seen newly mated vampires, and they are overwhelmed for months. But I can see us succumbing to this desperate desire much longer than that!_

She sighed up at me, smiling contently, "So could I Edward." She kissed me then, softly, sweetly. Our bodies, still together, moving ever so slightly. I felt a stirring and deepened the kiss. I felt Bella open her mouth to mine, submitting to my will. I could feel the desire stirring in her as well, and the motion of our bodies began to increase, becoming more rhythmic. The passion was so overwhelming. I had never known it could be like this and the happiness at finding and finally having Bella for myself engulfed me.

I heard my phone buzzing again, and sighed and slowly pulled away from Bella. She cried out at the loss of the connection of our bodies and actually started to pout. I chuckled.

"We are going to be in a lot of trouble if we don't try to control ourselves and head back to the house. Alice is already on the warpath, I am sure." I kissed her softly on her forehead.

"But...well I guess you are right. Damn Alice!" she said with another adorable pout.

"Bella," I laughed. "We have forever, my angel. Be patient. After we are married, I promise to take you on a honeymoon, where we will be completely alone."

"Mm, that sounds wonderful Edward. Let's get married tonight so we can leave tomorrow! We can run away, fly to Vegas, whatever!"

I heard the phone buzzing again. I laughed and answered it. "She was kidding Alice."

"She better be! I've put a lot of work into this wedding, and I am not going to have you two ruin it by running off an eloping! Now get dressed and get back here! We have a celebration waiting for you two!" And with that, Alice hung up on me.

Alice, my little pixie of a sister. How much work could she have actually gotten done in the 9 whole hours Bella and I had been engaged. But I had learned long ago, never to underestimate Alice.

BPOV

We reluctantly got dressed and started running back to the Cullen's...to _our_ home. It made me feel so warm thinking I had a home and someone who loved me as much as I loved him. I was still afraid that I was dreaming. I pinched my arm lightly. Edward didn't miss a thing.

He raised an eyebrow inquisitively at me. "Just making sure I am not dreaming." I said as I ducked my head shyly. I know it seemed silly, but one week ago, if you had told me this is where I'd be, I would have called you a liar!

We didn't break stride as he wrapped his arm around my waist and smiled down at me. "I promise you, this is real. It's a dream come true for me too Bella."

As we entered the clearing right before the house, I stopped suddenly. The clearing was completely lit up with twinkle lights. Alice had somehow draped silky fabrics from the trees, almost making an elegant tent-like feel to the already gorgeous field. She had music playing and all the Cullens were dressed up. It was like an intimate little prom!

Esme met me at the edge of the tented area. "We tried to rein Alice it, but she is like an unstoppable force once she gets rolling. She is waiting for you upstairs and she wants me to instruct you to go to her room immediately."

My mouth hung open, "But...I..."

I could hear her yelling from inside the house, not screaming, but loud enough that with my new vampire hearing, I could hear her, despite her being several hundred yards away.

"No buts Bella, get in here! And Edward, you need to go get dressed too! I left your clothes out on your bed!"

I looked at Edward, my mouth still hanging open. "She's a tenacious little thing, isn't she." he said as he laughed at my expression.

"Yeah, I guess you sure could say that." I surmised.

I walked into the house, not having a clue on what to expect when I got to Alice's room. I could hear her, moving around like a hummingbird goes from flower to flower, just buzzing away in her room waiting for me.

I opened the door, and Alice was in a sleek, black dress, cut low in the front and ruffled fringe that ended just above her knee's. I didn't know what the material was, but I could tell, it was expensive just by the smell of it. I definitely wasn't anything I'd come across before. She had light beading around the plunging neckline that made an ever so soft tinkling noise as she moved. As a human, I doubt I would have ever heard it, even if I had my ear to her chest!

"Alice..what..." I stuttered at her as she grabbed me and dragged me into her bathroom!

"Good grief Bella, could you two have rolled around on the forest floor a little more? Take a shower...quickly quickly! Everyone is waiting to celebrate your betrothal!"

And she was gone. A hummingbird wasn't a good enough description for Alice. A hummingbird on speed may be more appropriate. I smiled despite of my irritation at being pulled away from Edward and forced into the shower at warp speed.

Once I was out, I barely had the towel secured around my body before Alice was pulling me into her closet.

"I saw this dress months ago. I couldn't quite see everything that was going to happen, obviously I didn't realize you were going to...well anyway, I saw there might be a possibility of you and Edward being together again, and I bought this dress just in case!" Alice was vibrating with excitement.

"Alice, " I laughed. "Calm down!"

She laughed her tinkling bell like laughter and unzipped the garment bag. Inside was a beautiful gown of sapphire blue. It was strapless and laced in the back like a corset. There were tear drop shaped mother of pearl jewels placed randomly throughout the skirt, gathering it in beautiful waves of fabric.

"Oh," I said, as I gasped at it's beauty. "Alice, this..is perfect. It's just perfect! I could marry Edward in this dress! I love it!"

Alice looked me, as if I had said I want to jump off the empire state building. "Marry Edward in this? But your dress is already on order Bella! You can't marry Edward in a dress you will have already warn! You are so silly!"

"Alice, really...this is too much" I started to protest, but she would hear none of it.

After Alice helped me into the dress and shoes, which were silver, strappy and very high heeled, she had me down in front of her huge vanity. Make-up of all varieties were laid out in an orderly fashion. Alice was mumbling something about my skin tone, which I thought was silly, since we were all alabaster white! I started to protest again, but she went about her business playing Bella Barbie.

After what felt like hours (it was actually about 30 minutes) she had my hair swept into a loose and elegant up do, with random tendrils of chestnut hair grazing my shoulders in soft curls. My make-up was light, and perfect. I look at myself in the mirror, it was the first time I had done so since I had changed.

At first, I couldn't see anything but the bloody orbs staring back at me. I looked at Alice, "The eyes..."

"Will fade after a few months. It will take a little bit for the animal blood to delude them in the golden color we have. Until then, we will need to keep you away from the humans. The red eyes will be too much for them to ignore." she said matter of factly.

I assessed the rest of me. I looked like myself, sort of. Everything was slightly different My skin had never been this smooth, it looked like satin. My hair was definitely richer, fuller than it had been in life. My curves seemed curvier. I felt like a Barbie Doll. I didn't feel real.

"Bella, you are beautiful, but not perfect. None of us are absolutely perfect! Look, your lips are still the same."

And as I looked, she was right. My top lip was still just a little bit bigger than my bottom lip. This imperfection made me feel SO much better! I smiled.

"Ok Alice, I think I am ready." I turned to her and she was jumping up and down.

"You look so beautiful Bella!" She beamed! Then she kissed me on the cheek and started to drag me out of the room.

I walked what I felt was awkwardly, but I didn't know if that was even possible in this new body of mine. I took a deep breath and tried to relax. As I got to the top of the stairs, I saw Edward leaning up against the railing at the bottom, casually waiting for me. Edward was in a classic tux, and he was breath-taking. His back was to me, but as he heard my gasp, he turned around and took a gasp of his own.

"Bella..." he whispered, his eyes alight.

**Sorry, I didn't have much time to edit, I was trying to get this posted before the weekend. So please forgive any major grammar errors! **

**Please review! Thanks!**


	9. Do or Die

**I do not own anything twilight...gosh don't I WISH! Especially Edward...RAWR! =)**

EPOV

Bella was a vision at the top of the stairs. The gown she had on was sapphire blue and it set her skin off perfectly against her deep chestnut hair. Her red orbs, lit up in excitement, stared down at me with nothing but love and affection. I had never beheld a more beautiful sight as I did in that moment. My silent heart was bursting with love, even as my mouth pooled with venom in my desire for her. I wrestled to keep that in check, as she slowly and delicately descended the stairs.

"'Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.' Truer words I could not have said on my own. Bella, you are breath taking." I whispered in awe as this glorious creature moved to my side. I saw her eyes light up at the Romeo and Juliet reference.

"I read that a lot, when you left. It's so awful that we almost ended up the same way! Well, at least one of us, anyway." She said softly.

"Believe me, if I hadn't been in time to save you, I would have gone straight to the Volturi." I said matter-of-factly.

"What are the Volturi?" Bella asked, her eyes on me curiously.

At this point, we were walking back out to the field. "Bella, we can talk about that later. Let's dance." I said as a smile crept across my face.

Just then, one of my favorite pieces, Clair de Lune, came through the sound system that Alice had set up on the lawn. I could see my family, all dressed up, on the edges of the open air tent, enjoying seeing me so happy. Their thoughts of love and happiness overwhelmed me. Esme's was the loudest. _Oh my boy, I am so happy for my son. How much I have feared this day would never come for him, but look, you can see the love shining right out of his eyes._ I couldn't help but look at my mom, for all intents and purposes, and give her a sheepish grin. It made her even happier to see that smile.

"Um, I don't really dance Edward, I don't know how." Bella said softly, almost shyly.

"Just follow my lead, love." I smiled down at her.

I put my hand on her slender waist and pulled her closely to me. I could feel the electricity buzzing between our two bodies, but forced myself to concentrate. I would never hear the end of it from Alice, if I ravaged Bella in the middle of the party she had worked so hard to plan.

We started to sway slowly to the music. I could see that Bella was comfortable with these gentle movements, and decided to take it up a notch. As I led her around the dance floor, in a more advanced dancing style, I could see the little crease between her forehead as she over thought the whole process.

"Bella, you are thinking too hard. Feel the music. Feel the sway. Let it wash over your body like a lovers caress. Close your eyes." She looked at me very doubtfully. "Trust me, close your eyes."

Once she had complied, I led us off in a completely different direction. "Do you feel that. Do you feel my energy telling you where we go next. Don't think...Just feel."

As I swung her around the dance floor in increasingly more complicated maneuvers, I could see the smile creeping across her face as she matched my every step. She opened her eyes and the joy of the moment showed on her face.

"This is amazing. Never in my life, would I have guessed to be gliding around a dance floor so effortlessly. All my life, I have struggled not to trip while walking across a flat surface! This, is just such a fantastic feeling!" Bella exclaimed, her excitement sparkling in her crimson eyes.

We twirled around the dance floor for hours, occasionally joined by family members, but after some time, they started to drift off in pairs, to enjoy the beauty of the night, and the love they shared with each other. It was so wonderful not to feel so awkward when this happened anymore. I had my own love now, and my attention was focused on her. So focused, I didn't hear the wolves approaching..

BPOV

We were twirling around the dance floor like Cinderella and her Prince, and that is exactly how I felt. Once I had been the girl who was not nearly good enough for the Greek God holding onto me as if he was afraid I would disappear at any moment. But after my little "makeover" I felt I could stand up next to him, and be his equal. I peered into the deep amber pools of Edwards eyes and lost myself there.

Out of nowhere, Edward threw me behind him and let loose a defensive growl. I picked up immediately why. The Wolves. They were approaching upwind and they were quiet, even to us. I was shocked that Edward hadn't "heard" them before now.

"What do you want, Sam." Edward said lowly, and lethally. I instantly threw my shield around us both.

_I've got us covered, Edward._

_Yeah, I know, I just lost their thoughts Do you think you can pull it back from me, just slightly so I can hear them. I won't be able to hear you though, so keep that mind._

_Yeah, I think I can do that..._ I haven't done much with my shield yet, so I tried to slowly pull it back over Edward, so that his back was up against it, and I could pop it back over him in an instant if I needed to. It made me nervous to think of him unprotected.

Sam transformed, seemingly uncaring that I was seeing all of him, now that I wasn't human anymore, but part of this new supernatural world. I kept my eyes centered on his face, and pretended his body didn't exist. I wasn't used to the lack of the warm blush a situation like this would have given me before I'd been transformed.

"Edward, Bella. I have come here to warn you. Jacob, well, Jacob has left the pack." Sam said, visibly pained. The pack instantly broke into a howl. After a minute for recovery, Sam met my eyes for the first time. "You understand, I have no control over him or his actions now. I do not know what he may do."

This statement was accompanied by snarls from the other pack members. Probably attesting to what they would love to do to us Cullens'.

"How can that happen Sam, how could he just leave the pack. I thought it was a lifetime commitment?" Edward inquired with a lot less hostility.

"Jacob's great grandfather is Ephraim Black. He was the last pack leader. That makes Jacob the rightful Alpha, especially since he has the blood of the wolf from both sides of his family. As the change hit me first, it naturally fell on me to be the Alpha of the pack. Jacob was nearly the last one to transition. But it was his right if he wanted it. It was offered and he refused it. But it seems now, as it is his right, he can separate himself from our pack. He has essentially created his own. We have already had one person defect." The wolves howled again in pain.

"Leah has left to join with Jacob." Sam continued "She hates you bl..vampires as much as we all do...sorry. But she lacks any self control. She is young and wild, but make no mistake, she is ruthless."

"Sam, you realize, if he attacks us, we will have to defend ourselves." Edward said softly.

"Yes, which is why we are trying to catch them before that happens. Jacob is still injured, but he should be at 100% within a couple days. After that time..." Sam couldn't finish. But I was sure we all knew what he meant. The only way to stop him would be to kill him.

"We are leaving the region. Perhaps with us being gone..." Edward began.

"We're leaving?" I asked. I hadn't ever thought about that. In my head I always pictured us here, in the old Victorian house in the middle of this lush field.

"Yes, I am afraid we will have to. What do you think Charlie would say if he were to happen across you in the street? Bella Swan is dead, only Bella Cullen remains." Edward said, almost sadly.

I started to feel panicked, but was interrupted by the impatient rumble from one of the nearby wolves. That would have to wait until later, then I would think about the idea of leaving this place. I pushed my heartache at leaving Charlie away and looked up at Sam.

"Thank you Sam, for warning us. It means a lot to us that you would make an effort to do so." I said warmly.

"It's more for Jacob. He is young, and he is foolish, and he will get himself killed. We will be watching for him."

And with that, Sam Uley turned back into the horse sized monster of a wolf and backed up into the trees. In one blink, he and the remainder of the pack, were gone.

Edward turned to me, "We need to go tell the rest of the family." He said softly. He wrapped his arm securely around me, and we walked toward the house. I could tell Edwards guard was heightened, I could almost see him straining to hear anything out in the woods. Even though he was more cautious, we didn't rush, both saddened that the beauty of the moment we were sharing, celebrating our future wedding, was over.

When we neared the house, Edward paused and then stopped all together.

"Edward?"

"Everyone...is..together right now. I am getting a LOT of lustful thoughts being screamed into my head. It's well, it's always bothered me in the past. But...with you here..."

I could see the twinkle in his eyes just then. I threw my shield around him, blocking out the rest of vampires who were all in the thralls of lovemaking.

_Bella, I..._ Edward began to think, his eyes burning.

_I know Edward, but we have to warn them. Now, despite how much I really would like it to be, is not the time._ I thought firmly, even though my body was betraying me, and inching closer to him. We stared at each other longingly for a long moment. Finally Edward was able to tear his gaze away from me and he led me into the house. I kept my shield up around him. We could hear with our ears everything that was happening, but at least Edward wasn't being bombarded with their thoughts as well.

"Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmet, Rosalie, can you come here please. There is a new danger we need to talk to you all about." Edward said softly.

After a few moments, the Cullens made their way down to the front foyer of the house, where Edward and I were standing.

"Edward, what has happened?" Carlisle inquired.

"There is a situation with the wolves. Apparently Jacob and Leah have broken off from the pack. They have created their own. They are intent on killing both Bella and myself. I would even go so far as to say they will try to take out any of us that they come across." Edward began.

As I stood there, listening to them all discuss strategies and different protective measures they would try, I was suddenly overwhelmed with guilt. This was all my fault. They certainly wouldn't be in danger if I hadn't tried to take my life forcing Edward to chose between losing me and changing me. Maybe if I found Jacob and let him destroy me, he would leave my new family alone. Maybe my life would be enough revenge for him...

"Bella..." Edward said painfully. I had completely forgotten my shield was around Edward still, and I pulled it back immediately.

"Don't hide from me!" Edward yelled at me suddenly. "What you are thinking is _mental_! You will not consider it again Bella! I won't allow it!"

"Edward, it would solve the problem and you all could continue to live your lives as if nothing had changed. Look what I have done to this family. You are in danger because of me!"

"Danger? Bella, I could take on all those little puppies by myself!" Emmett proclaimed with a huge grin on his face. Rosalie sighed and promptly rolled her eyes.

Despite Emmett's insane enthusiasm, Edward was still livid with me. I could see him clenching his jaw while he took deep purposeful breaths. Both his hands were fisted and straight down to his side. His eyes burned at me.

"If you all could excuse Bella and myself, for a little while please. Perhaps a nice hunting trip would do you all good, get your strength up for the potential fight to come." Edward said in a very controlled voice.

Carlisle gave Edward a very significant look before he left. Though Edwards eyes never left my own, he nodded curtly to Carlisle. That seemed to appease him enough that he walked out into the cool night air with the rest of the Cullen's.

We stared at each other, neither moving, blinking, breathing. I waited for his anger, I could feel it rolling off of him and eventually he was going to unleash it, so I thought. The minutes continued to tick by, and I got nothing but his burning gaze. He was waiting...for I don't know what. Finally I decided he was waiting for me to speak.

"Edward..." I started, but he cut me off. I was wrong.

"Don't Bella! How can you think about killing yourself..._again!_ I thought I made it very clear that I cannot and will not live without you. I will hold you down for the rest of eternity if I have to, but you will not put yourself in the jaws of that beast!" He paused briefly and then shouted, "Do you care so little about _my_ life?"

"Edward, of course I care about your life. But I refuse the be the cause of hardship and pain for this family. If there were another way, I would gladly take it. But there isn't. My death is the only solution."

"Bella, do you really think he is going to stop with just you? Seriously? If you are so concerned about not causing pain, then why would you allow that mutt to kill you. Do you have any idea what that would do to Esme...to Alice? Don't you know what that would do to me? I can't live without you Bella. _Our_ deaths won't stop them from attempting to kill the others and without your shield and my 'hearing', we would be leaving them severely handicapped."

Damn if he didn't have a point! I flopped down onto the stairway. "There is no hope then. It's going to fight or flight. I don't think Jacob will be satisfied until he hunts us down. We can run, but I think he will follow us to the end of the earth."

"You never know Bella, it may not come to that. Sam may be able to talk some sense into Jacob."

I snorted. "Clearly you don't know Jake very well. There is no way he will listen to Sam, especially now that he doesn't have to."

Edward sat down beside me and cradled me in his arms. "Then I fear we will have no choice Bella...we have to kill Jacob Black."

**Gosh! I am sorry this update has take so long, not like me, I know! Things have gotten so crazy for me at work and with my 8 month old son crawling and getting into just EVERYTHING, I just haven't had the time to write as I did before. But I will finish this story! Promise! **

**:) **

**Please make sure to review! Thanks!**


	10. Into the Forest

**I do not own anything Twilight...but I wouldn't mind owning Edward... =)**

EPOV

We had been cooped up in the house for weeks. Since learning that Jacob and Leah had broken off from the pack of werewolves and were intent on killing us we had restricted our movements, our normal schedules drastically. Sam had no luck in persuading Jacob from his suicidal course, and Leah almost tore him to shreds just for trying to. Carlisle risked his life by going into the reservation to help tend to Sam's grievous wounds, given to him by former pack members, his brethren. It was awful, and the scar, both physical and mental are showing on Sam every time we see him. He had been in love with Leah for years, though she thought she was too good for him. That fact kept him from fighting back and killing her.

As a result of these events, we had taken to hunting in shifts, never less than four of us at a time. It has been particularly hard on Bella, who is so new to this life. She hasn't seen the world the way the rest of us have for centuries. I can tell she wants to let loose and run. She wanted to jump, and laugh and play. She want to explore and discover the limitations of her new body and the power of her shield. But instead, she is subjected to constantly be on guard duty, for each hunting trip, using her shield to keep her family covered.

Her needs for feeding were much more demanding than ours as well. She sometimes needed to go out multiple times per day, where as the rest of us can go for weeks if needed. This wasn't altogether a bad thing though, as the frequent feeding for all of us, kept us at our strongest. But it was getting taxing on her, as each time, she needed to keep her shield around the entire hunting party.

"I'm hungry...again." Bella had said sheepishly. I knew she felt bad, thinking she was keeping us in constant danger when we were exposed outside our home.

"It's ok Bella. I can definitely remember those days." Alice said, with a big grin on her face.

"I'm sorry. I honestly wait as long as I can, but the burning is becoming unbearable right now." Bella said again. Her eyes downcast. I was at her side immediately.

"Bella. We have all been there." I put my finger under her chin, lifting her face to mine. " You have nothing to be sorry for. Don't ever apologize for being who you are. You don't have to make yourself uncomfortable. Just let us know as soon as you need to feed, don't wait until it's unbearable darling."

"Yeah, ok." She said again. She was so melancholy, it hurt to see her so unhappy. I thought to myself that we would need to do something soon. Perhaps leaving to Isle Esme would be exactly what the doctor ordered. I made a mental note to talk with Carlisle when we got back.

I was sure the fact we hadn't been alone in weeks was weighing on her as well. All we could do was think about that one perfect day. Perfect until Jake stumbled across us in the woods. We were carefree, in love, in the thralls of love making, in our perfect little bubble of a world. We've never made it back since then. I began to wonder if Carlisle would agree to let Bella and I venture out on our own. If Bella shield is up at all times, even if we come across the wolves they won't be able to get to us.

We hadn't made love since that day. Bella knew everyone would hear us, and wasn't willing to, as I could certainly understand. It's can't be easy making love, with an audience. Lord knows how the rest of them do it!

"Carlisle," I said, even as he was getting up and stretching for the hunting run in the woods. "I was wondering if Bella and I could make this a solitary trip." Bella's met my eyes with both surprise and longing. "We are so newly engaged and have had so little time with each other alone. Bella will keep her shield up at all times. There will be no possibility of anyone getting to us. We will have both our cell phones with us, so if we do get caught, we can call for help, or we can just walk back here, with the shield around us. I am confident that we will be safe."

Carlisle thought for a long moment. He looked at Alice to nodded, apparently seeing nothing to prohibit this. Carlisle continued to ponder, considering that Alice's visions were less accurate, as she couldn't see the wolves or if they would interfere.

"Please..." I whispered.

Carlisle finally relented."Ok, but only this one time Edward." He looked to Bella then. "It will be very important that if confronted, you don't lose your focus and let your shield down even for a _moment_."

"Yes, I understand and I agree. I won't let anything happen to us Carlisle." A huge grin spread across Bella's face. It made my silent heart warm, instantly.

Within moments, we were out the door, running hand in hand through the quiet rainy woods. The rain was soft, gentle and warm. August rains were my favorite here. The smells it incited in the forest were amazing and it was overwhelming.

Business first. We found a pack of deer, about 14 miles southeast of the house. Bella gorged herself on three big bucks. As I had hunted just days prior, I passed on the biggest ones, letting her tear into their soft flesh. Thought satisfied, she still craved for something more.

I heard it long before she realized it was on its way to us. Just as she dropped the third carcass, a grizzly, likely attracted to the smell of the blood, stumbled into the clearing. A smiled crept across her face as the Grizzly silently observed this strange sight. _Mm that smells better!_ Without further ado, Bella pounced on the stunned animal.

I could hear Bella moaning, as she drained the bear dry.

"That tastes so much better than the deer. It, it was amazing!"

I laughed. "Meat eaters do taste much better than grazers. They are closer to, well, to humans. The taste of human blood, well there is really nothing to compare. I thought that until I tasted yours of course. Your blood, it was like, well I can only guess it was like heroin to an addict after being clean for a bit. You were always like my own personal drug, made just for me! It nearly drove me insane!"

"I bet you miss the way I smell sometimes huh?"

I laughed again." Bella, do you remember how badly your throat burned the day you woke as a vampire?"

"Of course, it was like nothing I'd felt before."

"Your smell, well that was 100 times stronger than your wakening day. It was excruciating, and unlike anything I'd ever felt. The first time I met you, I nearly killed you right there. In the middle of class, with all the students watching. I would have had to kill them all as well, to protect the secret. It's honestly a miracle I didn't!"

Bella was quiet for a long time. I let her think. "So I guess you are happy I don't smell the same."

I laughed yet again. "I am happy I am not in pain when I see you yes. But believe me, you are worth every lick of fire I felt. I am happy you are a part of my life in every way. I am happy you are a little more durable, so I can do this..."

I jumped down from the tree branch which I was using to watch Bella as she fed. I was by her side, crushing her with my lips in moments. I could taste the bears blood on her tongue still, and it excited me. Almost instantly, Bella's hands were fisted into my hair. She had her legs wrapped around me in a heartbeat, and I was pressing her up against a nearby tree. Her tongue danced with mine, as the desire for her, the desire over the last several weeks built to a crescendo.

_Oh god, I've been dreaming of this Edward. I want you _so _badly! It's driving me crazy how many times a day I am fanaticizing of you._

_Believe me, the feeling in mutual._

I ripped her shirt over her head, hoping I wasn't ruining it as she tried to hastily undo the buttons on my shirt. Bella was grinding her core into my erection, which was putting quite a strain on my pants. I could smell her wet arousal, it drifted on the air like honeysuckle in the spring. My hand was cupping her beautiful breast, slowly running my thumb over her hardened nipple. Her breasts were framed by a beautiful deep blue satin bra decorated with tiny pink roses. I longed take her hard nipple into my mouth, I imagined myself rolling my tongue in small circles around it. The venom pooled in my mouth, as I reached behind her to undo the bra clasp.

I l_ove when your mouth waters for me Edward..._Bella thought, and even in her mind she sounds breathless and sexy.

I pulled her bra off and dropped it to the ground. I ducked my head and took her left nipple into my waiting mouth. Oh how I had missed feeling her body like this, hearing her reactions to every touch, touching every inch of her soft flesh and the sensation of her orgasms washing over me, as if they were my own. As she could hear what I was thinking, I could feel her agreement and the anticipation of experiencing it again was building within us both.

My mouth moved to her right nipple, making sure it was in no way neglected. Bella's breathing picked up and her fingers, already entangled in my hair, tightened their grip. I lifted Bella swiftly away from the tree, that was groaning in protest against the pressure we were putting against it. My mouth never left her flesh as I laid her down in the soft wet grass. The rain, which had been steadily coming down, increased and started to pour. I pulled myself away from her and looked down at the goddess beneath me. The water droplets were decorating her face like little diamonds. I could see her eyes, the color of fire, were ablaze with passion and desire.

My hands moved to the belt of her pants, deftly unbuckling and pulling it free. I barely had it unbuttoned before she was desperately pushing her pants off her hips. Her delicious smell, so concentrated in her tight jeans hit me like a ton of bricks. I could hear myself growling, attempting to restrain myself from tearing the jeans off her body and ruining them forever. As she pulled her legs free finally, I threw the material over my shoulder and bent over to inhale her intoxicating scent. I nimbly pulled her lips apart and ran the flat of my tongue along her wetness.

_Oh my god, you taste so sweet Bella, it's like nectar!_

_Don't stop Edward, please, don't stop! I need it, I need you!_

I didn't plan on stopping! I started slow at first, flattening out my tongue, teasing her with the slowness of the licks. Her thoughts were incoherent, but through the connection Bella's shield gave us, I was experiencing how good I was making her feel. She tingled all over, every sense heightened. I brought my right hand up and gently pushed one finger inside her. She moaned loudly with the penetration. I kept it slow, savoring these moments with her. I slid my finger in and out of her wetness, thrusting in hard and pulling out slowly. I added a second finger and continued this rhythm. All the while, I was softly running my tongue over her hard little clit.

_Edward...faster...please!_

I couldn't help but smirk as I started pumping my hand in and out of her faster and faster. I could feel her climax coming, so at just the right moment, I wrapped my lips around her clit and sucked on it. Her powerful orgasm hit us both and I was panting while she was screaming my name. Smiling, I sat up on my knees and undid my pants

BPOV

Waves of pleasure crashed against me as Edward sucked on my clit whilst driving his long fingers in and out of me and all I could think about was how much more I wanted. He sat up on his knees to start undoing his pants, and I was practically quivering with expectation and desire to have his full length inside me.

Before pleasure from my last orgasm had finished, Edward was naked between my legs, positioned to enter me. He was looking down at my naked body, soaked from the deluge of rain. His face lit up and he starting rubbing his thumb on my clit, as his head teased me, just barely pushing past my lips. I reached up and pinched my nipples, sending little electric currents right to my core. I could feel that coil building rapidly. Having just climaxed, it wasn't going to take long.

_I love seeing you play with your nipples Bella. You have no idea how much that is turning me on right now._

_Oh, god, what are you waiting for then Edward! I want you inside me!_

He smirked, _patience you little minx. _

I could feel his hips moving a little faster, pulsing his head just barely in and out of my wet lips. I ached for him, I didn't think I could take this much longer...

Then the coil snapped and I screamed out in pleasure. Just as I was about to peak, Edward slammed his full, glorious length into me. I babbled incoherently as he thrust himself in and out of my wetness hard and excruciatingly slowly. I love it. He slammed into me over and over again. The little aftershocks of my last two orgasms attacked my body with every thrust.

With my greater strength, I pushed him off of me. He lay there panting on his back, looking me quizzically.

_You are driving me insane!_ I shouted at him mentally, then turned to face his feet and slammed myself down onto his hard length. I could feel his body shake all over, relieved at the reconnection. The rain poured over us, as he moaned my name. I began to ride him, and as I did, he grabbed my ass to hasten me. I could feel his need suddenly. I was impressed at his will power, as it felt he was going to explode at any moment, but he held on.

Without warning, he slapped my ass. I cried out in pleasurable pain. _Again!_ I thought desperately. And again his hand met the flesh of my tight ass. I sat up straight, using my legs to ride him like he was a thoroughbred. I pinched my nipples, twisting them softly, as I crashed my wet core on to him faster and faster. His spankings came quicker now, he was getting very excited.

As his climax hit, it pushed me over the edge and I came for the third, exquisite time. We called the lovers call into the night for several moments before I was able to turn around and snuggle down with him in the wet grass.

"Bella..."

"Yeah, I know. It was..."

"Most disgusting thing I have ever witnessed in my life." A sneering female voice called from the forest. Edward and I jumped up. Completely naked, we took up a defensive stance as Leah, in her human, and also naked form, walked out of the darkness of the forest.

"Jake is on his way." She said with a loathing sneer on her face. "I hope you leeches enjoyed yourselves, because you will be dead within minutes." and she got down on all fours.

Two vampires and a wolf standing in a clearing...


	11. Blood to be Spilt

**I do not own anything Twilight...but I wouldn't mind owning Edward... =)**

*****WARNING*****

**This chapter may be a bit more "hardcore" than past chapters. You are warned.**

EPOV

Leah stalked around the barrier, testing it from time to time but unable to find a break in Bella's armor. Bella's protective shield kept me from hearing Leah's thoughts, but it was evident in Leah's posture that she would rip us to pieces if she got the chance. Slowly I reached down and gathered my clothing, earning a vicious snarl from Leah in return. Bella followed my example. No sense in standing naked in the woods since there was no immediate danger to us. Once she was clothed, I pondered calling my family.

_I don't think we should endanger them Edward. The wolves can't touch us as long as my shield is up, so there is really nothing to worry about. We can walk back to the house._

_Yes, I suppose we could_, I cautiously thought.

Slowly we started moving in the direction of home. This incensed Leah and she began to snarl, growl, and make other apparently menacing noises as well. We weren't really impressed.

As we were walking, Leah close on our heels, Jacob appeared before us, naked as the day he was born.

"Where do you bloodsuckers think you are going?"

Bella sighed, "Jake, you can't get through to us, so why are you torturing yourself? We are moving out of this area in a couple weeks, why don't you let yourself have some peace!"

I heard Leah making an almost coughing barking noise. I think she was laughing.

"The only peace I will ever have is knowing that this piece of shit who made you into this monster is dead and you along with him. You are nothing of the girl I loved. You are a filthy leech and the sight of you makes me sick." Jake stammered, trembling all over, barely able to hold his form together.

"If you really loved me, truly, you would want to see me happy."

"I want to see your guts spilled across the forest floor." he nearly screamed.

"Well, Jacob, I am afraid that will never happen. I will never let you touch her. So be on your way little doggy, we don't have time to play today." Edward said dismissively.

Oh, I beg to differ Eddie boy. I have a lot to say, and as long as you two are within hearing distance, you are just going to have to listen. I want to tell you how good it felt when I fucked your girl. You remember it, don't you Bella?"

Rage. It hit me so suddenly, that I stopped moving, stopped breathing. I could see Bella's face, he eyebrows wrinkled in worry. It had been really hard for me to come to grips with the fact that after I had left Bella, she very briefly sought comfort in the arms of this mongrel. For a short time, it had been a wedge between us, but we'd put that behind us now. It was in the past and leaving is what drove her there, so I guess it was my fault. to begin with.

I was blissfully thankful that Bella's shield was blocking out the pornographic images I was sure were running through Jacob's head.

The mutt kept talking, and despite my best efforts, I was starting to lose my temper. This wasn't something I allowed to happen very often, as I typically lost all sense when it did. But this was one of those topics I wasn't sensible about.

_Don't Edward, it's what he wants. _Bella's thoughts drifted into my head as she slipped her arm through mine.

BPOV

I could already tell that comment had hit it's mark. I could see Edward out of the corner of my eye become completely still. I could hear the roiling anger of this thoughts. This was crossing the line and Jake totally knew it. Edward knew he was being baited, but he was still having a hard time resisting.

_Don't Edward, it's what he wants._ I said, as I slipped my hand through his arm.

"Aww poor widdle Eddie doesn't want to hear how much I loved fucking his girl? Oh yeah, I remember sliding my tongue over your nipples Bella, I know you remember too. I remember how they pebbled when I bit them, and sucked on them. I remember how wet you were, how much you wanted me. Your heaving breaths, your desperation. You can't tell me you didn't like feeling my hot girth pumping in and out of you, pounding you like a freight train! God you were so tight, since you were a virgin. Oh yeah, you knew that didn't you Edward, she gave her virginity to me. Not you. And it was good too. It's amazing how sweet she tastes, wouldn't you agree?"

"You are disgusting Jake! You were then and even more so now. You are right, I was desperate to turn to you, desperate to forget about my pain. It was immediately obvious to me you were not nearly man enough to replace the one I stand next to now. You are just a little boy!" I screamed at him. Edward was on the verge of snapping. I was ever so grateful for my shield, as Edward was picturing Jake and I together. I can only imagine what Jake could actually project, if Edward could read his thoughts.

The thought of the fight had Jake excited...very excited. Or maybe the memories of us together. But regardless, Jake was at full attention and glaring at me.

_Edward please. It's meaningless. I love you, I want you. Don't let him bait you! He wants you to charge him, and if you do I won't be able to protect you..._

_You won't need to, because I am going to kill him..._

_Edward!_

Edward took a deep breath. "Jake, I am asking you to walk away now."

"Did she tell you how she screamed my name when I made her climax, again and again. She begged me to keep fucking her, she said 'Fuck me til he disappears'. Oh I fucked her alright. I fucked her until she bled. When she was finally begging me to stop, I just kept fucking her Eddie. She's the best piece of ass I've had yet." 

And that was it...Edward charged before I could grab him. All of that last part was a lie, but that didn't matter to Edward. There was no stopping him now, and as he charged out of my shield, Jake transformed to the giant russet wolf and attacked him.

Almost before I could act, Leah was attacking Edward too. I dropped my shield and charged Leah. She heard me coming, turned and was ready for me. To my great surprise, Leah was fast! I was so much stronger than her and I knew if I could just get my arms around her, I could crush her the way I did to Jake. With her speed though, every time I thought I had her, she was nipping me from the opposite side. Her teeth were unable to get a good hold on me, but even when she would just get a tiny piece, I could feel the pain of her teeth penetrating through my marble skin.

With Leah's speed and clearly more experience in a fight, I suddenly realized I could be in trouble. She was pushing me farther and farther from Edward, who was also fighting like mad. I barely had time to look, but from what I could see, Edward was losing. He was letting the rage overcome his sense, and he was not using his gift to outsmart Jake. I could hear Edward cussing loudly, and could imagine the mental images Jake was forcing into his head.

We were in trouble, no doubt about it. Even as I fought for my life, I truly regretted talking Edward out of calling his family for help. I leapt up into a tree to get some advantage over Leah, but to my utter surprise Leah was right behind me, pulling me back down. They apparently realized the inability to get into the trees was a weakness after our last encounter and had been practicing. She was right there, and this time got a good chunk of my leg in her jaw. The pain of her bite pierced through me and I cried out. Edward heard me and turned his attention for just a moment, a moment that Jake didn't miss. He pounced. Before I could see the outcome of my huge mistake, Leah pulled me from the tree and tossed me aside. Before I could get up to face her, she was there, and so was Jake.

Leah had my throat between her jaws. Jake stood over me, coughing with laughter. Where was Edward? I threw out my shield, but as Leah was already touching me, she simply was swallowed and was on the inside with me. Jake moved in and hit my shield. He immediately transformed. I felt Leah's jaw tighten. I could hear her thoughts. I knew what the plan was. I felt sick.

"Where is Edward!" I screamed.

"Your little bloodsucker is in pieces over the hill. Now, if you know what is smart for you, you will drop this little force field you have around you."

"What's the point, you are just going to tear me into pieces too...eventually. Go ahead. I don't care."

_Leah, don't do this. Please don't let him do this. Are you really going to hold me down while he rapes me?_

_What the FUCK! Get out of my head you filthy leech!_ Leah tightened again. _You don't deserve to be fucked by him. You only deserve to die! But this is how he wants you to die, so this is what will be!_

"Well, if you don't drop it I will light him on fire. He's already healing, slowly mind you, but he is healing. If I torch him, bye-bye Eddie boy. We both know there is no coming back from that." Jake laughed. As he laughed, he retrieved a small bit of cloth tied to his leg. He unraveled it to show me the Zippo lighter. He lit it and started back to where I last saw Edward.

"NO!" I choked out and dropped the shield. "It's gone." I barely whispered. Leah had such a tight hold, I could barely take in a breath. I could hear the cracks, she seemed to enjoy the sound, as she would let me heal and then nearly crush my throat, again and again.

He walked back, triumph all over his distorted face. "You make one move whore, and Leah will rip your head off and I will torch your Edward. Then we will leave you to wallow for an eternity without him. Do you understand this?"

Dry sobs. I couldn't utter any words, but I barely got out a sob.

"I hope you are listening in Eddie boy." Jake taunted as he tore my clothes from my body. He ripped open my shirt and molested my breasts digging his nails into my skin. "Oh yeah, I am really going to enjoy this Bella. It's so much more sweet for me, knowing he's just over there, helpless to stop me. We may be here awhile. I've been waiting for this moment for some time, and I don't plan on wasting it." He mocked as he ripped my pants off as well. He took a moment to admire my body before him. The lust was all over his face, and I knew this was going to be awful. As he positioned himself between my legs, he lifted them up and spread my cheeks.

"I've wanted to do this to you for years now." and he slammed himself into my ass, shoving himself in despite the tightness. Jake moaned as the pain rippled through my body, but I refused to scream out. Jake leaned over an bit a chunk of my leg out. Neither of us realized his human teeth would have the same effect on our bodies as his wolf form did. They sliced through my skin as easily as if I were human. He spit out the piece of my leg and looked at me with a sick smile on his face. He pulled himself out and slammed into me again.

Jake laughed manically and took another chunk out of my leg, and fucked me harder and faster. Pain accompanied each thrust, and I knew if I was human I would be bleeding, a lot. Jake lifted my ass off the ground to get even deeper into me. I knew my face was crumpled in pain as he slammed his very large throbbing manhood into me over and over again. His moans increased in volume, and suddenly I could hear a muffle, tormented cry. I knew it was Edward. Horror filled me as to what he might be enduring, what Jake was projecting into his mind. In anguish, I threw my shield around Jake, Leah and myself. That would at least block Edward from being assaulted by Jake's thoughts as he violated me.

"No Bella, don't shield me from you." I faintly heard Edward cry out. He didn't sound right. He didn't sound far, but I knew he must be hurt if he couldn't help me.

Jake had a sparkle in his eye, he pulled out, spread my lips and thrust himself into me as hard as he could. I was thankful at least this didn't hurt as much. In this position, Jake was able to bring his mouth down to my breasts. At first, the licking and sucking appeared to be trying to gain some reaction from me other than loathing and revulsion. When that didn't happen, Jake got mean. Instead of sucking, there was biting, slapping, and pinching. Since his teeth were the only things that could penetrate my skin so there was _a lot_ of biting. All this while he continued to mercilessly thrust in and out of me, causing more pain with each thrust.

_Whore, you fucking WHORE! Why did you pick him. Why didn't you love me. I am going to fuck you til you scream. Then I am going to torch you both and piss on your ashes. Why, GOD why. Cry bitch! I know she likes this. I bet she's barely able to contain how good this feels. What a whore! God I wish I could make her bleed, fucking leech. I hope she dies in as much pain as I am in..._and on and on it went. Jakes hateful thoughts assaulted me over and over. I could see the images he assumed were going into Edwards mind. He purposefully enjoyed every mark he left on me.

GOD, when was this going to end. He continually bit and spit out pieces of my flesh. I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt. It was excruciatingly painful. Between that, and the never ending pounding I was getting, I felt like I was about to break into a million pieces. But I didn't make a single noise. I was actually grateful to Leah for practically crushing my windpipe. Making noise would require effort.

Jake pulled out and thrust into me faster and faster. I could hear, and sadly feel, his orgasm building, finally. It sickened me. It truly seemed like hours had passed, and finally Jake climaxed, and as he did he bit my left breast completely off. Then finally his body slowed and he fell against me, what was left of me at least.

He was bent over me, breathing heavily when I suddenly became aware of the unending slew of obscenities coming from Leah's mind. I kept my shield up, terrified that Edward would go mad with grief and rage if he knew the extent of damage to me. In my heart though, I knew we weren't going to get out of this alive. Eventually he would tire of these games. I knew he would eventually give in to his desire for our deaths, and he would torch us both. I was sobbing again and trying to look anywhere but in Jake's eyes.

"I knew you would like it, baby. One last good fuck before you die. Everyone should be as lucky as you."

I suddenly became aware of a face in the tree's. It was Jasper! He was mouthing something to me, and I just made out "drop your shield" a second before he leapt from the tree and onto Jacob. So I did and Jake was ripped from on top of me to a place I couldn't see

Suddenly Leah was gone from my throat as well. She had been so startled by the attack that she let go and lifted her head before one of my family members smashed into her. I took a deep breath, as I listened with extreme pleasure at the pain they were both in. They had both been taken off guard and were outnumbered. They were being over-powered and beaten severely. I struggled to stand. I looked down at my body in absolute horror. I looked like a broken statue, bits of me missing and tossed about the awful scene before me.

"Stop, don't kill them." I growled.

"Bella..." Jasper started to say, but I held up my hand. The rage built up to the point where I could speak. I am sure my eyes were on fire as they bore into Jake.

Jacob looked at me with a deeply satisfied smile. He thought I was going to spare his life. He thought that I actually must have enjoyed that. He was...in fact...wrong. I lunged and sunk my teeth deep into his throat before anyone could stop me. His hot blood splashed onto my tongue and down my throat. I doubted he tasted as good as a human, being the mutt he was, but the taste was like nothing I'd ever imagined. Before I knew it, I drained him dry. The satisfaction I had as I listened to his heart stop beating was like nothing I'd experienced before.

I looked down and saw I was already healing from the brutal ordeal I'd been through. I knew what would help that process.

I turned and faced a screaming Leah.

**Hey all! **

**A dark turn to the story. Please make sure to review. Thanks!**


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